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Old 01-11-2005, 08:30 AM   #5
Asperger family
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 198
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Re: ASPERGER Teenager problems,do you have them?

Your son sounds like my husband did at 18. He was obsessed with motorcycles and hated school, he didnt do well at all(he dropped out eventually).Im raising two kids now, one with aspergers, and I think my in laws could have done a better job with my husband. They didnt teach morals or values, they taught money and things were what peopled like you for. I knew him since we were both 17 and I seen the pattern there even at that age. He had nice clothes and was one of the spoiled kids in school who had everything, including a brand new explorer, motorhome and motorcycles to race. He had maybe two friends, one who lived 2 hours away who raced and one who was the biggest trouble maker in his school. I dont think I would be pushing my child to find friends their own age or girlfriends. Lots of AS kids do hang out with the bullies, druggies,the so called "bad kids or outcasts." They are the most accepting to other outcast kids, but alot of them, with their own problems or disabilities, are not good role models for asperger kids because our kids learn from them and they learn from ours too. Not in a very smart way either, but in a blinding way. Both of my husbands 2 friends were troubled(one graduated his 5th year from a disobedient school and the other drifts from home to home and cant hold a job. Both of them were heavily into drugs. Both from broken homes.Both of them having sex with every kind of girl possible, unprotected. All of them had kids in their teen age years. Just shows you how vicious the circle is, but still, even normal kids are just kids and learn from each other. While you cant really blame other kids for your own childs behavior...they still learn from each other. If an AS kid prefers to hang out with older mentors, hopefully you will introduce them to ones who have morals and good intentions.A friend is a friend, doesnt really matter the age. My husband now has a handful of friends, most seem to be down to earth and nice, all of them alittle weird though. All of them alot older, he is 26, they are in their thirties and forties. But I dont see nothing wrong with that, they all have the same interests and ideas. They want to be together and they are happy when they do things like fish, hunt Friends usually have something in common, looking back at my own child hood, I hung out with girls who came from the same kind of family back ground I had. I have to go through this again, with my son now and I think I am going to teach him to help him develop his talents by helping him get into the activities he likes(art, music, outdoor stuff) and let him make friends in his area of interests. It might help them keep out of trouble. If you can find something you know is a passion or obsession, try to push them in that direction.They will make friends, thats their neck of the woods there, they tend to like others with their interest. If your son likes cars, you can check into what kind of sports involve cars(even if is just being a mechanice and helping out) Good luck to you, sorry so long, I just wanted to share.