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Old 04-07-2005, 06:14 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 6
schneidsx3 HB User
Life after SIDS..

I lost a daughter to SIDS about four and a half yrs ago.
Today is her fifth birthday..

I had a healthy pregnancy,took my pre-natals,non-smoker,etc..

I did the put the baby on the side thing. At 5 mos old, she rolled.
I removed the wedges because I was worried about SIDS.
When a baby starts to roll, it is hard to control what side they end up on.
(unless you are there to monitor 24 hrs a day)

I've done much research on SIDS since she died. Children have died of SIDS sleeping on their front as well as their backs.
I met a lady in a SIDS group that her son died, while she was holding him.
So is sids really all that explainable?

Any parent who has be in this situation knows, it is every parents worst nightmare.

It is hard to accept when you loved and wanted your child and you read on tv how a parent kills their child.
You are left for answers..
I want answers...

My daughter was my life.. and I my heart goes out to anyone who has been there. It is the worst feeling imaginable.

I have since had a beautiful baby girl. She just turned two in March.
When I was pregnant with her, I was a nervous wreck. When she was born, the fear was even worse. One day I realized she could sense my fear and was reacting to it.From that day on I vowed to have faith that she would be okay. I prayed that God would not take her away from me.
(that may sound harsh but when you lose a child in this way, your heart does not know what to feel).
I put her on an apnea monitor and I prayed.. but watching my child strapped up to a monitor, broke my heart.
I know that may sound unreal to some, but I had to believe that she would live.. I had to have faith.
She still to this day sleeps in my bed and it is a horrible habit but when you've lost something that meant the world to you,a little bad habit seems so tiny...
(it is comforting to know that she is there)

My suggestion to soon to be parents and new parents is..
Love your child/children and cherish them.
There is noway to know what tomorrow may bring....

I am thankful that I was a picture-holic. I took many many pictures that people use to make fun of me for. Now I treasure each and every one..

I had someone in the hospital when I was registering with my daughter now,tell me that SIDS in hereditary. Do not listen to ignorance. You are going to hear that crib bumpers are bad and I recall when they were a good thing??
Blankets are bad, Footed PJ's are bad...etc etc

My husband and I have talked about the possibility of another baby in the future and it is hard for me not to question.. "what if?"
SIDS changes people and after 4+ yrs... it has not gotten any easier.

I am blessed with a beautiful little girl but there is still that void.
That desire for the baby that was taken away..

I hope this helps.
I may sound negative but is there really a way to make it sound better?
I can sugar coat everything, but it is what it is.
I am still resentful, hurt, and will never be the same person I use to be...

Thankyou for reading and may God watch over each and every baby.


Last edited by schneidsx3; 04-07-2005 at 06:58 PM.

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