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Old 09-08-2005, 03:47 PM   #12
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 317
ciconner HB User
Re: I want to cry-bulls eye


I'm thinking my body might have handled it quickly, too. I really don't have any symptoms. Physically I'm fine.

I think I've been infected more than once in my life and when I was diagnosed Oct. 2004 my first symptom was crying over the news (Sept). I would go out of my way to sit and watch the news just so I could cry over it. And movies could do the same. My mind was frazzled in school when the kids got a little loud. I think I suffer more mentally first then physically. There's a pattern I've noticed. Fatigue of course also.

The lymph node in my neck is what clued me in on this in 2004. I was explaining on another thread how I went through the crying over the Albanians being run out of their homes in 1999 and today I remembered that a gland in my neck got swollen (Oct. 1998), I called the doctor and he told me to go to the emergency room (it was a weekend). I also thought I was bleeding to death with a menstrual cycle so I went, to the ER. They just checked to make sure it wasn't a miscarriage. I didn't get the sweating, achy joints, headache and high fever until New Years and when I look back to Oct. 2004, that seems to have been the pattern.

This disease is like an obsession. You try to figure out when and how you got it and if you've had it before by mirroring symptoms you've had before.

I made a doc appt. for Monday and will just have the Western blot done and go from there. I still have the tick and want to send it in to IgeneX, also. A good sign is that I'm not obsessing over the news with the Katrina disaster. I weep a little when I see a child crying or the babies. But it's not anything I went through with the Russian kids held hostage at the school Sept. 2004 and the Albanians in 1999. I even cried when I took the kids to meet their teacher for first grade before school started last year. That's when I knew something was wrong. That was the very first thing and knew something was wrong. It was another month before I had physical symptoms.

I also read that lyme can "resolve itself." I had shoulder and hip pains and all these behavioral disorders that I didn't look into and then the joint pains went away after I had them for many years. Then I was infected (or reinfected) and they came back, but I'm doing pretty well for now.

These days I just happen to want to crawl in a hole and not want to be around people because I can't trust my behavior. I don't even want to work anymore because I always start some kind of "trouble." Regardless of whether I'm right or not, it's just a waste of my energy and I always lose in the end. I just wish I knew if this is lyme related.

In your case the fact that you were treated soon after you discovered the rash didn't hold true that you would be "cured." You answered my question. Thanks for explaining what you went through.