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Old 11-14-2005, 04:13 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 30
SolidSnake320 HB User
Really scared of going to the doctors.. DiabeticPHOBIA

I have been having this bad cough, and I spit up blood a couple of times.. I am 19 years old, and I don't smoke or anything like that...
I have had trouble breathing aswell like shortness of breath, and some chest and back pains, and yesterday, at work I had a sharp pain like a needles being pushed in the bone in the center of my chest. Also, I had body aches, and also soar joints and soar arms and legs occasionally. I have also had swollen lymph nodes, they ache sometimes.. Also I have been feeling very tired.. It's like a really bad flu or something..

And BTW: is going to the restroom more than once like 3 times in 2 hours bad?? Not big emergencies, but I also have this little personal silly problem.. If I ever feel a slight urge to pee, I go just to get rid of it. I go b4 I eat cuz I can't enjoy a meal with that pressure sensation. It's like a weird habbit that I just don't like having that sensation, even if it' just well.. A few drops I needed to let out..
Well, I am going to the doc tomorrow, and I am deathly scared..
My aunt has been diagnosed with diabetes about a year ago. My mom was concerned about me.. I am alittle overweight but not bad, I am not obese, just kind of a big guy, with some extra fat. Just kind of have a big appetite .. She had me do a blood test, I came out ok, but my doc said to just watch what you eat cuz I was alittle close to the limit or something I forgot what exactly she said. But since then I was scared of going to the doc for a blood test..

We do drink soda a few times a week. And also, at high school I perticipated in P.E. alot harder this time around. And for about a couple of months I did the treadmill(if that is how you spell it, that one running maching from nortictrack) for a mile everyday. That was last winter, I have not really watched myself after my mom got breast cancer. My life went into a standstill.. I just did not feel like caring about myself anymore, just carrying about her and hoping for her to get better. Well she is better, but now I am worried about going to the doctors.. Which is why I deny that I feel sick when ever I am sick sometimes.. (just colds and flues)..
The thing is I am very scared of being diagnosed. It's not really just the fact that I would have to have injections.
It's also MAINLY the fact that it was my fault, I could have prevented it. I would feel ashamed and embarrassed. Everyone would be like "I told you so".

Now please for any diabetics out ther don't take this the wrong way.. It's just some mentality that has pleaged the back of my head. Everytime I heard the term diabetic, I always think about it being a shameful disease. A "fat man's disease"..
I know this is not entirely true cuz it is genetic aswell so it's not always people's fault. And sometimes it just happens.

But for me, it would be soo devastating. I would thinking to myself "you fata** idiot, you could have stopped this!". I would feel ashamed of myself. I would have no one to blame but myself. It would feel like a punishment..

I hope none of you take it the wrong way. I know it's not everyone's fault they get this, and I know that there is people who watch out for their healt but can still get it. These were just thoughts I needed to vent out..
Sorry if I offended anyone ..

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