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Old 12-14-2005, 09:58 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 632
LostMyHeart HB User
Re: My first relationship (kind of long)

I guess the only thing I can really offer is: Do not, do not, do not compare your relationship to others' relationships.

There are no rules or standards for this type of thing. You do what works for the two of you, only.
This is just me personally, but two times a week within the first month would be plenty for me. But that's just me. I like to take things slow and I would be more than content with that. If it was too much more that early on, I think it would actually do more to scare me away.
But that's because one of my first relationships was rushed, where we saw each other constantly and threw our personalities at each other all at once, rather than taking time to just get to know each other one step at a time. It was a MESS, to say the least. Didn't last very long at all.
I decided to never do that again! And in my experience, the more I took my time, the better the relationship went, or the happier it made me.

It's great that you have lives outside of each other. The more you keep the rest of your time filled, it's just all the more you'll have to talk about and share with each other during the time you do spend together.
Just relax and enjoy what you do have.

After all that, if you are truely not content only seeing her two times a week, you must communicate this to her. Let her know you want to spend time together. Like Steno said, call her a set a date for a specific time. It works best if you set a certain day in advance, rather than a last minute "let's hang out tonight".
Don't tell her you don't care that she doesn't see you if you do. Communicate your opinions to her. Maybe next time try "I would have liked to see you today, but I understand you already made plans, can we get together tomorrow?" (You get the picture right?)

Whatever you decide will make you happy, good luck to ya!

Last edited by LostMyHeart; 12-14-2005 at 10:37 PM.