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Old 03-22-2006, 06:43 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,224
Gayle0000 HB User
Re: Does DH help much?

I dont get much help at all. I've already had 1 serious Talk with DH, but that was good for about 48 hours, then back to no help. I'm planning another Talk real soon. I honestly feel like a single mom...DD's dad just happens to live in the same house with us. I take care of the baby about 23 hours a day...7 days a week. He takes the attitude that since I SAH now, I am always rested and have no work committments anymore, so it should be a piece of cake to "just take care of the baby".

DD is 6 months old. He has only given her a bath once...and that's because I made him so I could take a picture. Same thing with solid foods...once for a picture and he only fed her a couple bites & said he was done. He did give her a couple bottles a week for about 2 months early on, but he quit doing that too.

Only time he volunteers to take her off my hands is conveniently when it's time for me to cook. Any other time he has her, I make him take her so I can eat, clean up, shower, etc. I had to arrange a week in advance to get out of the house for myself so I could X-mas shop. Still, if I don't tell DH several days in advance that I'm going to the mall by myself & he will watch DD he acts like his day is ruined.

He's never taken her out of the house unless I've gone with.

He changes about 2 diapers a week. He's never made a diaper run...he always has some excuse for not being able to run out. Guess who goes to Wal-Mart at 9pm?? Me.

I've bought all her toys with my own money.

He's never got out of bed early when the baby wakes up. I think he's got out of bed in the middle of the night 2 or 3 times. He'll go in and pat her down if she's fussing at bedtime, but that was only about once every 2 weeks. He hasn't helped out at bedtime for a couple months now.

He's been on my case wondering when I'm going to go get portraits of DD.

On weekends, he goes to bed whenever he wants and gets up around 10am, talks to his family on the phone, showers, and runs errands.

The thing that breaks my heart more than anything is that I only have 1 picture of me and DD. DH took it in the hospital (I made him take it). I have a ton of pics of DH and DD (bathing, eating, playing, etc) but the pics are a complete Lie! They don't represent anything that actually happens. They are all staged by me. Makes me want to cry typing this.

This makes my DH look really bad. I know it does. I kind of feel bad even writing this. He is a nice guy, but he seems to think his life can go on unaffected with a new baby. He loves his daughter very much. He loves me very much. He has just not become the Dad I thought...and HE was the one who wanted to have kids more than I did. He even wants another one. Yeah, right.