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Old 09-11-2006, 10:21 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 674
Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: My bearings? what to do,,,

I agree with the other posters 100%. Brook is especially right that while it might seem like staying with her out of loyalty is the kindest thing to do, in the long run, it's only going to make things harder and more painful on her. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to make yourself feel something if those feelings don't come naturally, and it's clear that you don't have the kind of strong, loving, passionate feelings necessary to keep a relationship happy and satisfying. That doesn't mean you are a jerk or that she has done anything wrong, just that you aren't the right match for each other. It's tough and sad when that turns out to be the case after dating for a few years, but it's much better to realize this when it happens than to ignore it and continue in a relationship that isn't ideal. Trust me, even though she wants to stay together, I'm sure she can tell that not all is well and that this relationship is causing her stress and concerns too. Having been through something similar several times from your end and once when the feelings were mutual, I know it can be really tough to get up your nerve, end things for good, and stick to your decision. But the longer you put it off, the harder it gets, and the more feelings get hurt on both sides. If you have stronger feelings for a girl who you only know casually than for your gf of three years, the relationship is already finished...the best thing for both of you is to get started moving on now, before things deteriorate further. And don't worry...whether or not you already know her, once you move on, you'll meet someone who you see as part of your future, someone who drives you crazy in bed, and someone who makes all other girls pale in comparison. Don't settle for less!