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Old 10-29-2006, 04:59 AM   #12
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NY state
Posts: 63
hannahph HB User
Re: pregnant with ds need of a realistic view

Hello and congratulations! My daughter hannah is eight years old. You are asking for a realistic view of life with a child with DS. I think everyone wants to automatically say it is wonderful to make you feel better and it truly is, I thank God evry day for my daughter and can not imagine life without her.Is it always easy, no. Thats the realistic part. I do think the first couple of years are the hardest.My daughter had heart issues and heart surgery at seven weeks old. Frequently our kiddos have some health issues and it takes some adjustment to get used to all that-but you do(and some kids have no issues too)Then there is the therapies. You will have a million people evaluating your little one all the time and then people in your house all the time providing thearpies to keep your little one on track.This can get old real quick.Then you also have to deal with your own feelings about having a child with DS. Don't be afraid or ashamed of your feelings. Allow yourself time to grieve for the child that you thought you would have.If you can find a copy of the poem "Welcome to Holland" you should read it. You can maybe do a google search for it. I have found that some people really benefit from a support group-and there are a lot of them out there.You may think that your life will never be the same again-it won't. BUT you will adjust to your new life and you will wonder what the big deal was. My life is different now, but I would not change a thing. I consider my life to be normal. I have two kids who I love more than anything. We do normal family things. We have a great group of friends and a social life.Things are going to be ok. It does take time to adjust to it all.I do predict that as soon as your little one is born you will fall in love and it will be ok.DS is not such a horrible thing that it was years ago. Most people are much more accepting of our kids, and there are many more oppertunities for them and medical advances. Oh one more thing, don't read anything on DS over 10 years old, it is sure to be horribly outdated and will scare you.Plus all the books you read will give you the worst case senario and it will make you crazy. Please realize it will be ok. You are entering a world you never new existed and you will come away from it a better person. It is going to be ok.