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Old 01-30-2007, 12:34 AM   #4
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Re: When is the right time to tell your new partner you have herpes?

I'd not tell somebody on a first couple of dates as you are just getting to know one another.

Definitely tell him before getting into anything remotely sexual. Don't tell just prior to having sex as a lot of guys say "no problem, lets have sex anyway", but once sex is over and the truth hits home they have issues dealing with the facts. So don't tell him when things are about to get hot and heavy, tell him when sex is the last thing on his mind so he can think clearly.

It's never easy telling someone as you feel that they are judging you and will likely reject you. Do read up and get all the facts so that you can confidently answer all his questions as he will likely have lots of questions and if you sound confident he will likely relax a bit. Some doctors surgeries and other health clinics will have brochures and other literature which you can give him or find info off the net and print it up.

I would personally tell someone sooner than later as some people can feel that if you tell them months and months down the track that you held back vital information. It is better to be honest and tell and to have them walk away rather than telling after some form of sexual contact and have them thinking you lied to them and put their health at risk.

At the end of the day it all comes down to what this guy is after. If he is only after sex and something casual then i'd say he'll walk away. If he is after a serious relationship he will weight up the pro's and con's of the situation before giving an immediate and definite 'no'.