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Old 02-08-2007, 04:18 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Santa Barbara, California
Posts: 609
Janmarie2 HB User
Re: I lost my precious Mom today....

Darlene, I am so sorry to hear about your mother and I know no words I can say will bring comfort . I lost my mom to NSCLC on Nov 25th 2006. Like many here she was my mother and my best friend. I miss her more then words can say.

What I can say is that like me and many others here you were blessed to have such a wonderful mother, not everyone has such a good relationship with their mother. I know people that have not talked to their mother in years ( now that is sad!).

Grief is a very individual thing and if you need to cry for weeks or months do so and don't let anyone tell you to " get over it". I don't think you ever do get over it but you learn to live with it. Take extra good care of yourself for awhile as the stress from grief is hard on the body.

I have days where I feel blue and cry but because I had such a sense of relief that my mom will never suffer again and actually was lucky and did not have to suffer too much in her 2 1/2 year battle I find I am much less depressed then I though I would be and have wondered am I supressing my true feelings? But I don't think I am it is just as I said we all grieve differently. I choose to take that part of my mom that lives within me and let it shine as she was such a loving happy person that yes she can live through me. I talk about her alot both her illness and her life in general and am lucky as my friends are good friends that listen and several of them have also lost moms so we share stories and that too keeps them alive.

No I will never talk to her again and not picking up that phone or sending that e-mail is hard. Driving down to visit my dad is hard too as there is a part of me that hopes this was all just a bad dream and my mom will be there when I get there.

I know in my heart she has only left me in a physical sense, her spirit will always be around me and yes one day I will see her again as this is all just life and someday my spirit will be called to continue on its journey and I know my mom will be right there waiting and find real comfort in that.

My coworkers sent a large donation to best friends animal sanctuary and got some memorial wind chimes that hang in the sanctuaries area called Angels Rest in honor of my mom. She loved animals as do I so the donation made upon her death brings life to animals which she would have loved. It also gives me a great way to remember my mom as now when I hear a wind chime where ever I am I smile and think "Hi MOM". It helps to have something like that that has special meaning and will connect you to her and put a smile on your face when it does.

Give yourself time and know you are not alone but rather you are among a group of very blessed people that had wonderful mothers. Take care and any time you need to share do so as it does help. JanMarie

Last edited by Janmarie2; 02-08-2007 at 04:19 PM.