View Single Post
Old 02-11-2007, 12:51 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 1,401
Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Help me. I'm sick of this. I want it all to be over.

hi anon,

i was very moved by your post!!! you sound extremely precocious and intelligent. i bet you're an A student!! i think you can be anything you want to be, and do anything you want to do--except your environment is the one thing that affects you negatively right now. lack of understanding from your parents and your peers would definitely make you (and anyone) upset and depressed. i know that parents' ignorance of their childrens problems, or maybe pretense that they're not there (the problems , that is), is terribly frustrating. i went through the same thing (still am, at 36 years of age) with my mom. but, you (and i) can't change them.

i agree with both posters above. they gave you excellent advice. if in any way, you could follow up on that advice, even a bit, you'd be on your way out of the "black hole."

a lot of us were "outsiders" in high school...mostly because we didn't open up and didn't let anyone see the real us. but like jimmyhonda said, when you finish high school, you won't be seeing those people anymore. and you're DEFINITELY not alone. i'm sure there are others out there, perhaps in your very own school who are struggling with the same issues you are.

again, like jimmy said (and i my opinion), your number one priority now is school. do well, so that you'll get into a good university and God willing, work towards a rewarding and fulfilling career. as you grow (and we're all growing, until we die), you'll learn more about human nature, yourself, other people, other people's weaknesses/strenths (even your parents'). i can even bet on the fact that you'll be able to find a partner later on, manage life independently, and be happy.

all of us on this site are depressed to some degree..that's why we come here. but what i can say is that with medication and with therapy, we can keep it in check. of course there are bad days/weeks and good days/weeks, but they come and they go. hope comes, and hope goes.

i hope you will be able to find a counselor somehow, because talking about one's feelings is the most empowering act in the world. i also hope that, as sannah mentioned, you will find some gay organizations around your area. you'll be able to get lots of info from there. i'm sure there must be clubs, bars, and even events that are oriented towards the gay segment of the population around where you live. look in the phone book, or on the web...

it sucks feeling alone. but i believe you're a very smart individual. just put some time into finding a way to make yourself happy--to fulfill some of your personal needs. do some research!

good luck and God bless!!
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...