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Old 06-03-2007, 09:56 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 1,401
Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Living in the past?

hi trish,

as long as we're alive, we WILL have problems. maybe it's God's way of drawing us closer to Him, since nowadays religion is no longer part of the "mainstream" so to speak, and i completely understand you when you say that others would think or believe one is "weird" for speaking about God and for believing in Him.

i wasn't always a believer. but, my years of depression changed my view of the world and the universe, and of people. i found that in my deepest and darkest, and saddest moments, when there was no one by me, when loneliness pervaded my life, when i cried in the dark while rocking back and forth, thinking the blackness and heaviness in my chest would never go away--only God was there. i found that no matter how i was, what i said, what i did, what i didn't do, how i looked, He never judged me; there were no conditiones on His love for me. people can only take so much, and we can hold onto people and their help only to an extent. but we are all limited in what we can offer to others. i know that. people may try with all their hearts to help us, but they have their own problems and they may get frustrated after a while.... sometimes they grow tired of us and leave us, and we find ourselves all alone (again). well, God/the higher power/whatever you want to call it, never gets frustrated, or annoyed, or impatient. i found that He's always there when others aren't. i found that He is indeed my stronghold when the winds of life are just too strong for me to handle, and i'm not ashamed to say it.

but yes, most of the time i keep my view about God to myself, since others may not understand what i'm saying, or worse, they may think i'm really "crazy." it's really unfortunate. people choose to say that help must come from inside you, and if you believe in yourself, go to therapy, take your meds, you'll get better. what they don't understand, i'm afraid, is that God is just that. He is in the therapy, he is in the meds, he is in our deepest core; He is us. he is the force that brought us into existence. he is not some old man with a white beard sitting on a throne.

anyway, i'm glad to see someone post something different around here, at least once in a while. and i'm glad you're coping with your losses trish, and that you've found relief!!

blessing to you my dear!
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...