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Old 06-17-2007, 11:13 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 428
hannasnana HB User
Re: Living with a Depressed Wife

Originally Posted by brains View Post
I've been married for 6 years. When we were dating and first married she was a wonderful person. I truly loved her. Life was perfect. She became pregant. Which she and I wanted more then anything in the whole world. During her pregancy she became very upset and angry all the time. She began to eat everything. I just tried to help and humor her. I know being pregant was rough and I knew it was only for 9 months and I could deal with it. I dont remeber alot of the time from then to now it is sad how you can block out bad times. She just became worse and worse after the baby. She went from 145lbs to 260lbs. She refused to clean, refused to workout and most of all fought about everything with me and my side of the family. I am a passive person so I would let most of it slide. Last year I really tried to get her to go to the couselor, which I had done before but this time it worked. She went and has been going since, twice a month. She is also on medication. She is alittle better. However I have lost the person I loved and married. I've just always been hoping for that person to come back.
How do I live with her like this for the rest of my life. How many years do I live with somebody that says she loves me sometimes but never shows it. She never gives to the relationship. She just depressed, when I bring stuff up she says I dont understand. I can only understand it as much as reading about it and seeing it and what it has done to my wife. I just dont know how long I can live like this. She is coming up to her one year of going to counseling and medication. I see very little difference.

My worry is also for my kid she can be so mean to him some times.

I still love her but the love is more of a love of a family member and not a wife.

Thanks for listening.
Have you gone for counceling for you? This is a difficult situation to live in year in and year out. Anger starts to build, frustration, etc. You can become co-dependant and become unhealthy yourself.
Your valuable too, your feelings and emotions are also important. But, your the only one who can take care of you.