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Old 06-22-2007, 11:11 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MI
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jujubeez725 HB User
Re: if only i could run away,

Originally Posted by violaroses View Post
i have posted a few times, i am so down, i have asked God to take over for me. its too big , but I keep taking it back from him so i can worry over it more. i have twin 9 year old girls, loooovvee them. i am an only child, i cant adjust to their fighting. ( i will have to though ) but emily has depression problems, everynight she writes to herself about all these bad thoughts. so i have talked to her school, and i have to get her in therapy. she misses my dad who died soo bad, when i talk to my mom she says we talk about grandpa too much, and her boyfriend says we have to get over it. that hurt them saying that.

my mom has a spot on her lung, my dad died of lung cancer. she is gettng it checked out today, she says plans on not having any treatment if is cancer- because she doesnt want to feel sick. i know i have too much stuff on my plate to worry about something that might not be, but mom i need you .

i am really depressed because i dont like my mom right now, she has been such a mean person to me, she is defensive around me. like i am going to say somethign that will tee her off.
my mom is agnostic, so we dont see religion the same way, i am tired of her telling my girls that dad is just a memory now. it hurts them, so i tell them no, grandpa is in heaven, and we have to believe their is a window he can see out sometimes and look at us.
sometimes i wonder if i will ever see the light again, the depression keeps me so heavy.

Hi Roses!

By all means, do get your girl(s) into therapy.
I remember when I lost my mother, it really affected my daughter. She had her graduation ceremony 2 days after my mom passed, and both our hearts were very heavy while we were there.

She won lots of awards and had an excellent GPA!
As happy and proud as I was for her, I was also extremly sad. I felt like crying (and I did shed a few tears during the ceremony) but I cheered her on.
That's a bittersweet memory.

By your twins being so young, it's hard on any child.
when i talk to my mom she says we talk about grandpa too much, and her boyfriend says we have to get over it

Sounds like to me your mom wants to "brush off" or make light of you and your daughter's feelings of grief towards your father. She has NO RIGHT to tell you how and what to feel about this... and if you feel the need to talk about it, you go right in to see a therapist, b/c it's obivious your mom doesn't want to discuss it. She doesn't want her feelings exposed on grieving for your dad. It's as if she's bottling things up and telling you all to be quiet about it. I guess this is her way of "moving on" with her life.

As for the boyfriend, he needs to shut it up!

Does he know what it feels like to lose someone you love? Has he been through the grief and hurt it brings? If not, does he, at the very least have any compassion for those who suffer through it?
No, he wants you all to just "get over it" because he is the boyfriend and he's tired of hearing about the man who's shoes he can't fill.
It's like he's saying, "I'm here now, so stop talking about your dad."

That really makes me P. O.'d

As for your mother, I'd stay away from her. She acts like she doesn't want to hear you talk about your dad, either. She definitely needs to see a therapist -- she's denying some feelings there, and she probably has to hide them from this new boyfriend because her grieving for your dad makes the b/f feel inadequate.

How long since your dad passed and your mom got this new boyfriend?