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Old 03-15-2008, 09:26 AM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Va.
Posts: 85
me1957 HB User
Re: Kidney Cancer Warriors

Well now everybody can refer to me as Mary Jean, That way we will know who is being spoken to.
Stan is feeling real goood. The dr. has given him another week off from the chemo pills to give his hemmoroids time to heal. Then the Monday after Easter he will start again. He is willing to give them another month to see how it works. I want him to keep on taking them and I did finally tell him BUT I also told him it is his final decision and I will stand beside him with whatever decision he makes.
Mary, as for us sounding so strong, words written make us sound that way but speaking for myself I sure as heck don't feel that way alot of times.Everybody keeps telling me how strong I am and maybe I am or maybe it is because I don't always break down and it is also I try to be strong so Stanley doesn't breakdown. To see him cry tears me up in some ways because that is so unlike him but in other ways it is a blessing to see him like that because it really shows not only me but all our love ones and friends just how he feels and that we are vulnerable and that we do need each other in our lives when most of the time we try to act as if we need no one!
Alos I try to stay a little on the strong side because Stan has already told me he is not afraid to die but his BIGGEST fear is leaving me and me being able to go on and back it.
I keep reassuring him I will fall apart But I also know at some point I will need to pick myself up shake myself off and get back into life. Really that is all any of us can do when we are all faced with this awful disease whether it be for ourselves or for our loved ones.
Fear will seize you at times and you will think you just can't face another second but then that second will pass and you made it through and then another and then another and soon it will be 5 minutes then 30 minutes then half a day and then a whole day and so fortth. We all will make it some way or another and need to remember not only are we WARRIORS but we are SURVIVORS and SISTERS and BROTHERS if there or any guys here together for one another. Not only in our words here nut in our hearts and minds and spirits!!!!!!!!! Mary Jean