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Old 08-20-2008, 11:48 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,246
mary09 HB Usermary09 HB Usermary09 HB User
Re: Dear ladies, I need a sympathetic ear.......

Hi Ibake...
Thank you so much for your message and kind thoughts.....
I wish this were the case.....but the sad fact is that my mom told my uncle last week that I am pregnant, and he said "that is great news".....5 minutes later he was talking about my grandmothers incontinence and medication and it hasnt been mentioned since. Before this fight happened, he did not even call me to say "congratulations". I am barely ever able to speak to my grandmother any more, she has trouble hearing and understanding on the phone. So you see, this is wonderful news to me, but to them, it doesnt even register. What you say is so right, that this isnt my wedge to heal, but as I live two doors from my mom, she is very involved in my life, I hear about this day in and day out, it is next to impossible to not be drawn into all of it when it is "in your face" every day.....I hope I'm explaining it right.
When I got pregnant with my first son, was when my uncle had just passed and my other uncle got really ill....and all the family "turmoil" started.....and has been going ever since. I am just so tired of listening to all of it....and I want to put it behind me and enjoy my life. But my mom is different, it hurts her to have this animosity between her and her family, to not be able to help my grandmother in her suffering, and therefore, I end up almost 'taking care of her"'s just a horrible cycle.
I always say this illness has shown people in my family in their true colors, and exposes them. It doesnt make them this way, their hearts were cold all along. This just brings everything to light......and at the end of the day is a poor old woman who sits day in and day crying for her "babies".......and they have all left her.....
It is just so sad, I wouldnt wish this on anyone......