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Old 09-03-2008, 02:17 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
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Re: Advice please on beginnings of incontinence?

Welcome back Tracey. Everything you wrote sounded so familiar to me. Mom always had an excuse for not cooking or anything else she found difficult, even to the point of picking a fight with Dad and then telling him she was angry with him and therefore not cooking for him. She did beautiful sewing and made incredible porcelain dolls. When she was no longer able to do the intricate work, the excuses were amazingly creative. Yet to this day, even thought she and Dad are in AL, she swears nothing is wrong with her. It is all because Dad has vascular dementia. That is the reason for everything. I understand that this is typical of ALZ.

Dad is very happy where ever he is as long as he has his chair, his favorite picture, and his wife. As long as Mom or one of us girls are with him life is perfect. Mom does have major problems with adjusting to new surroundings and new situations. She complains that she can't go anywhere.... you guessed it.... because of Dad. In reality she could go if she wanted to. Every time she has been taken out of the facility lately it has disolved into a tearful or raging episode. Dad is very different but I understand that this is typical

I have the bathing issue with Dad. He resist showering until he is made to do so. Mom on the other hand showers to excess. She has also had problems with UTI.. urinary tract infection... which I believe it due to the fact she forgets to drink. A UIT will definitely make them act strangely. When Mom is off kilter we always have a urinalysis done.

As for the incontenance, they do make light weight adult protective underware for the incontenant that are not "adult diapers". They are less bulky and easy to pull down when she does go herself. If your Mom is aware of the problem perhaps a gentle introduction of these underware would be accepted. Perhaps just bring them in and leave them. When she ask what they are for explain them. See what she does with them. She may be using this situation as an excuse not to be exposed to a "new" situation since it is confusing to her. It may be a passing phase caused by something else but it might not be a bad idea to get her acustom to using adult protective underware.

Dad has a few incidents but I believe they were caused by stomach upset (from medication mainly) and foods that are diuretics. He is on medication that binds his stool and that has helped.

Good luck with this situation and I do hope it's just a result of something she ate, illness, or a passing phase. Hopefully some of the other kind ladies here that have delt with the problem more than I have will be of more help.

Love, deb

Love, deb