View Single Post
Old 09-09-2008, 06:13 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 10,120
feelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB Userfeelbad HB User
Re: Please friend needs help bad, worried

hi sammy. so sorry your friend is where she is at. this just can happen,even to the best of us. what exactly was she taking before she decided to DC? the biggest thing here you have to always remember,for yourself and YOUR current situation is not to be sucked in to 'her' world right now, you have way too much on your own plate just trying to cope and deal with all of your own stuff,ya know?

in order for her to get better,it is really all i her hands,not yours and you have to keep that in mind,always. is there a paricular reason she wont seek medical help with this? i went thru outpatient treatment when my situation came to a head many years ago. she does just NEED that level of support right now. even going to an NA meeting around town(or out of town too) would be a start for her. she just does need that kind of support that you simply cannot offer her. being with other people who are in her same situation is just really key in maintaining her sobriety right now.

she also just has to address the depression part of this too. depresssion is very very commonly present,usually before an addiction even begins. thats what i do believe created my initial 'need' to self medicate with pain meds. they simply lifted my depression(espescially hydro) and all was right with the world. her world is going to become much worse if that underlying depression is not treated while she is attempting to go off what she is. its the depression(and that huge 'want' to just 'feel normal" inside her head again) that will suck you right back in again til it gets at least properly treated and the reasons she became addicted get dealt with.

i know what a huge caring person you are hon and that has me kind of worried about you in all this. but you have to place that little wall between the two of you and set boundries for yourself so YOU don't end up worse off than you are right now too. all you can do right now is just be supportive. any real progress here that gets made,HAS TO come from her,not you. she herself just has to make some realizations from within herself before this is even going to work. only she can do that part. that want to get better just has to be there. i would encourage her to at least seek out an actual therepist or addictionologist if she also is suffering some level of chronic pain as well. but all that is up to her. she just needs to get on treating her depression as soon as possible or it(self medicating the depression) will contiue to simply recycle itself,you know what i mean? just do not 'take on" her stuff sammy. keep your distance and be that source of support only,you yourself just have way too much to deal with right now,and anything more that you take on will simply drain your own coping energies for your situation too. your friend is lucky to have you in her corner hon. just be very carefull with what you choose to give away right now. you just have to come first ya know? she simply may need much more support and overall care than you are even able to give her right now too,please remember that. any real progress she makes is just in HER hands,not yours or anyone elses either. i do wish you luck with this sammy. but watch those boundries. you just care too much sometimes and that itself has set your own situation back before ya know?there are some very helpful and knowledgable people here hon who i am sure will also have some good ideas and advice for you. take care hon. Marcia
3-22-01,herniated C-6-7
11-20-01,placement of hardware for failed fusion
9-22-03,removal of cavernous hemangioma that was inside spinal cord. Neuro damage to L hand L leg and R leg.