Thread: New development
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:54 PM   #5
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Location: charlotte, nc, usa
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Re: New development

Martha is absolutely right little deb... this is all normal behavior. Remember, no short term memory so they don't remember what you tell them. They regress so he may be at a point where he was unmarried and didn't have a children.

Does it come and go.... YES! My dad might greet me and call me by name. Or he will not know who I am or who that lady working in the flower is (Mom). Then he will ask who lives in that house. He now talks about going home.... to help his Mom milk the cows. He ask me who did all those things that are stitched on his history pillow. There are times I think he knows who I am and times I know he doesn't.

Your dad will always be in there little deb. He just get pushed further back in the plaque and tangles that crowd his brain. From time to time we will see glimpses of them... even if it is in our own eyes. I don't know if there is a time when they are not aware.... but there is a time when you need to let him go where he will get 24 hours care 7 days a week. I still remember the night he opened the door......

There is no way to know how long which stage will last. My grandmother was in final stages for over a year.... almost two. Her's was accelerated by a blood infection that a well meaning doctor "saved her" from... she never walked or communicated again and lay in a nursing home bed for almost 2 years. Some go quickly. Some of this board have parents that are experiencing rapid deterioration. Martha's Mom hung on for a while. So nobody can tell you how long it will take your Dad to get there from here. What I do know is that you will probably reach the end of your towel first. One of the wise souls here told me, when we had to place Mom and Dad in AL, that the patient has long been ready. We place our parent(s) when we are ready.

Talk to your Dad's doctor. Be honest and upfront with him about what is going on, and see if he can help you.

I do worry about you and I do worry about your dad.... especially when he is alone. Most of all I worry about you if something were to happen to your dad.

Love, deb