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Old 03-29-2009, 11:22 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 567
captnanny HB User
Re: Rock and a Hard Place

Sorry for jumping in on this post but I can understand your pain and feelings completely. I was a bit confused at your first post but do feel like I am often between a rock and hard plate. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I had a pretty awful childhood but always was searching for mother figure. The problem was that even at 25, 30, and 39 I wanted the chance to live my life as a little girl with a nice safe mommy. That is not physically possible. When I realized this I felt all hope was lost. My coping mechanisms were not working any more either. So my therapist was finally able to start doing some honest work with me. I came to realize that I am not what or who I though I was. I have to start working on getting my own life, free from my dad and mom's lives and the things I knew. I feel like I am starting all over again only I am 39 years old and alone. I feel lonely and sad. Honestly I wish I had people in my life. I just thought I'd jump in here since I feel like either way I move I'll be sad or depressed.