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Old 01-15-2010, 06:16 PM   #4
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Re: Glioblastom stage 4

Hi Al

Hope this finds you with at least some peaceful time today. How was Mom today?

Al, I want to let you know that if you do seek a second opinion, Mom does not to to travel at this point. Only her records need to be seen by another doctor and then see what is said. Another doctor may or may not want to see her.

Perhaps Mom being declared hospice could help also. I am sorry, I know that sounds so final. However, having my Pop declared hospice was what allowed him to stay in the nursing facility and be cared for. Of course, his circumstances were a tad different. He was seventy and still fully employed. However, his insurance maxed out. So we retired him while he was in the nursing facility. That put him on Medicare and that then kicked in to cover him under hospice. Otherwise, they were gonna send him home. He was paralyzed ( he had brain surgery to relieve the pressure as the cancer had spread there and was left paralyzed). My mom was so sick with her own cancer chemo... who the heck was gonna care for him??? Anyway, let the lawyer check out if declaring her hospice would bring you any relief.

Also, in my state at least, the house can NOT be taken as long as a relative is still living in it. Have the lawyer check that out also.

Al, part of the reason I shared my story with you is to tell you that I HAVE healed. It was a long road, but I am fine now and so is my Mom and my family. It hurts so to lose parents, it hurts so to wish we could do something, but are helpless. We are helpless sometimes, Friend, but never hopeless. Whatever happens with mom, you, also, will heal, Al. You will heal and you will grow as a human being. We go on living even in tragedy because we have no choice. And somehow, we cope and life brings us to a more even keel again.

You are a young man still and there will be happiness again in your life. because I was a mom when uncertainty came to me concerning my survival, I believe I know what is in your Mom's heart about you. She wants you to be okay... you are her baby and always will be. That was my greatest concern also. My baby was only 16 when I was so ill. I worried about what would become of her without me. I wanted to know she would be okay. As my older boys began to stand by her more and more, my mind eased; my worry lessened.

For my Dad, he was worried about my Mom. Worried about her treatment, worried about how his nursing care would be paid for. Worried that too juch burden was placed on me. You know what? I told my Dad that people were lining up to help get my Mom to treatment. ( that was a truth) I told him that money had come through for his care ( a truth, although he did not know he had been declared Hopsice). And I told him I was getting rest ( I had taken a leave of abssence from work).

For both my Dad and me, so much was lifted when our greatest worries were allievated. Whether or not Mom can respond, please let her know you are okay. Let her know in whatever way you can, that you are fine. Let her know that her love has guided you for all these years and always will. I think that is one of the best things you can do for her.

Cry when you need to, Buddy. Cry for Mom, but please, cry for yourself also. It is okay. You are hurting and sorrowful and must have sympathy for yourself because that is a healthy thing to do.

We will talk again. Until then, I will cry some tears for you because you are a man who has such great love in his heart and a man who is hurting. We are connected in spirit.