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Old 03-26-2010, 11:10 PM   #5
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 104
Indianmist HB UserIndianmist HB User
Re: I think I'm Borderline -Sad and confused


The idea that Borderlines can't stand to be alone is not true in every
case, especially mine. Some of us tend to be loners and have no problem with being alone. Actually some of us desire a relationship but will push others away when we feel that we can no longer "control" this situation.

Control is a big issue for us. We have to feel that we are the ones exerting the power in the relationship and calling the shots or it's just a waste of time.

It seems that your girlfriend felt insecure with you and uncertain of her power over you, she felt as though she wasn't getting that emotional response from you to satisify her insecurities and called it quits. Why she felt that way, only she can say, but many people with BDP are rather flighty and unpredictible at times. I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to be over the top when expressing your love to the BDP person, otherwise they will get the sense that you don't care.

Some BDP's struggle through and will do anything to hold on to that failing "relationship" even when they know in their heart and minds that they would be better off moving on, then those like myself will feel that we are not getting anything of value out of this situation and cut it off.

I don't know about other BDP's out there, but I tend to attract needy men, maybe because I tend to be sort of aloof and emotionally distant. Where as some BDP's are the opposite and tend to be emotionally needy, and attract people who are emotionally distant which is why you have read that they can't stand to be alone.

Sorry for the long response.