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Old 04-01-2010, 08:53 PM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NJ, United States
Posts: 1,471
caringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB Usercaringsister54 HB User
Re: Another Day in the Life of Alzheimers and Dementia


You want an answer when there is none. there is no concrete solution to what you desire. She's not that bad that you can medicate her into stupor nor is there any other solution.

We're not harping on what it is you should do. We're offering suggestions. many suggesting the same thine.

I can tell you one thing: We're sorry there is no set, one-stop- answer that you want. We can feel your pain.

You came to us. We have the experience as we've been through it. I was fortunate. My mother -- in her early stages -- let me boondoggle her into getting the house and her accounts into an irrevocable trust. My sister and I had power of attorney over her and her accounts. We also had the lawyer make up a living will/medical directive for her at the same time. All of this turned out to be a God's gift.

Your mother is demanding, fine. We're telling you to just do the bob and weave. if that suggestion doesn't work for you and you're still stressed, then the only option is to 'walk away' -- what that doesn't work for you either?
Well then you need to find the answer that works for you because Bearcub there aren't too many suggestions we can offer.

Unless you want to have your mother declared incompetent, she can stop you from doing a lot. Why not bite the bullet, take her to the bank, walk in with her, let her take out whatever she wants to take out. When she's not looking take most of the money out of her purse and return it to the bank.

Not sure this suggestion will work for you.

Please read your post again. You are begging for an answer and unfortunately none of us here has the "magic" answer you want to hear only suggestions because at some point we were all there where you are. We just either got control of the finances (like we did), or do the bob-and-weave dance that others here have done.

You may have to walk away from it for now until your mother gets worse but as someone else said. If she's this bad, can she really be left alone to come and go as she pleases?

your CaringSister54 who cares about you very, very much

My prayers are with you.