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Old 07-22-2010, 08:41 AM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ashburnham, MA, USA
Posts: 6
smittythepig HB User
Re: Post Haemorroidhectomy - 9 weeks on!

just one possibility is that simply being aware of the area and fearful of what is going on might be making you feel you need to 'suck in' when you don't. i had surgery almost 13 years ago (LIS and then another procedure later when the fissure re-opened) and went on anti-depressants when it seemed it would all never heal and i became obsessed with the whole thing. they worked and i basically stopped thinking about or worrying about the area and considered myself pretty much healed for the last 12 years or so. well, i stopped the ADs last year and after about 6 months i developed an external hemorrhoid somehow. this went away but ever since i have again become obsessed with the area and worried about what the surgery did long-term and whether or not i've lost elasticity or the hole is smaller or whether or not the urges and sensations i get down there are normal. i also constantly feel like i can feel things down there (i went to my surgeon again recently and he said that though i had some small internal hemorrhoids everything looked great) and it's in some ways as you describe. it's like there is this constant awareness of that area and fear that something isn't right or that it will all come out or i will develop terrible hemorrhoids or another tear or something. the reality should be that nothing has actually changed in the last several months (considering the hemorrhoid went away and my surgeries were over a decade ago and i lived a normal life all that time until recently) EXCEPT my awareness of the area and the fear. i think that and the stress it causes is making me uncomfortable. the reality is that perhaps some things are different for me now post-surgery. but it didn't cause any problems before. so in my case it may largely be in my head. i am sure you have some physical healing left to do, but i just thought i would comment and suggest the small possibility that some of your feelings are possibly just mental in that you are constantly focused on that area and how it feels. maybe if you could distract yourself and just be confident everything will be fine, maybe those sensations would diminish. sometimes we become aware of something after going through a surgery or whatever and it's hard to go back to not thinking about it. just another possibility.