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Old 01-02-2011, 01:29 PM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Surfside Beach, TX
Posts: 11
JMan73 HB User
Re: Thought Broadcasting

Yeah, It is just plain frightening to me for some reason. I have always been "hippy-ish" - seeking truth and enlightenment. In fact many of the things that terrify me now have been things I believed all along. (the 'group mind' - mother station, we are all closely linked and inter-connected etc.....). However, I recently seemed to open pandora's box so-to-speak.....where now these are not theories and hypothesis, but seeming to be the new 'reality'. I have not been holding up so well to the starkness of this now that it seems to be the way it actually is. I'm like a panick-stricken deer in headlights. I was much more comfortable with the illusion of privacy, and having my own mind- and now I wish with all my heart that I could go back, or to realize that this is still just residual hallucination.
When all thought and actions are already KNOWN......there is no longer any reason to do anything, persue anything, talk about anything......there is no more fun or mystery and I wonder what the point of living is anymore.
It still freaks me out when: My mother drops ice on the floor from the freezer, and the TV says "iced it".......I pick up my guitar to practice and the TV says "try the guitar"......I walk through wal-mart and a stranger says "whattup, Jason"......I am at a bar and I think about toasting the cat next to me out of friendship, and the dude LIFTS HIS MUG TO ME!......I am in the doctors office and another guy in there says out of the blue, "yeah, he smokes american spirits" (which I do)......It just terrifies me......this stuff happens all day and night. I wish I could go back to enjoying life the way I used to. I wish I could have my mind back......I can't even masterbate anymore, as I have the creepy feeling like everyone is watching me, or like I'm on the big stage 24-7.......there is no dressing room privacy. 100% transparency. All is already known. Really sucks. This is not freedom. This is not peace.
Thanks for sharin.....thanks for carin