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Old 04-23-2011, 08:55 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Unhappy sexual/control/mental issues ? not sure - please help

Are there any clear signs of bipolar disorder ? I think - through many years of being with him- certain signs are there. Mood swings, fighting - or disagreeing almost daily( sex, finances-friends-household issues-pets- the list goes on and on) - his put downs directed at most everyone he knows- although he won't do it face to face (except to me and our children ) he seems to be the only person in his world that is normal/ or perfect- at least without much error . His need to have sex, and I say sex- b/c to make love - there has to be some sort of flirting/foreplay leading up to it ( most of the time) I do understand the times when it just happens - almost like a heat of the moment - not just 5 mins in the door, and ARE YOU READY ? I have many things run through my mind about this daily, all I can think of is an addiction/ possible mental disorder- something that would cause someone to act as he does ( something that is clearly NOT visible to the human eye.

We have and continue everyday with issues. Mostly with sex, as you may see from my other threads. Right now, I'm just buying time- till I can get out and on my own again- but I have to deal with this until that time comes. As you may already know, he seems totally into sex- an addiction to him ( or at least that is how HE phrases it to me - "I've been his addiction since the day we met, and he can never get enough of me ) yet in his eyes I'm wrong for feeling this isn't how it's suppose to be. I have problems with my neck and back - I'm in constant chronic pain daily- and having any kind of intimacy only causes me to feel more severe pain instantly and for many days to follow. We fight, or don't speak almost always about this- it's a never ending subject in our house. Daily is what is expected of me- and lord knows I can't even begin to fathom that idea. I gave into him last night as I was just so burnt from the constant fighting/moods that I live with daily. Without giving TMI - I was in severe pain- an hour into this- , but he kept going like we where young lovers- even after I said "I'm in pain- I can't this - and told him I have had enough- You would have to be completely blind not to see the pain it was causing. I moved like a turtle,- in severe pain- and he wouldn't stop until he had been satisfied.

With that said, I sat on the bed for the next 3 hours - hoping and praying the pain would stop. Ice and heat , meds, stretching- nothing helps , but I had to try- I always have to ride it out, and wait till I pass out. As he slept, and would wake up and see me- and then would have a comment about me sitting up- watching tv-" you should go to sleep- no wonder your always tired and hurting "- I was tired, but I was also in more uncontrollable pain b/c you [B]had[/B] to have sex !!!! Then this morning he was telling me that [B]I[/B] was so into it, he KNOWS that I wanted him last night, and he soooooooooo wants to do it again...... like maybe tonight !!???? This seems to be the only thing on his mind, well over all the other issues that couples deal with on a daily basis. What would be the norm, on how often couples engage in intimacy- ones that have chronic pain or suffering to some degree would be better knowledgeable for my situation- although I would appreciate any wisdom you have to offer here. To me , this does not sound like the mind of a stable / loving person- there are so many other things that I could keep saying about us- far to much to get into.

I do sound like a broken record, and I'm sorry for that. But I don't know what else to do, to buy me some time till I can change this. I also would just like clarification in some form I guess. Why would someone choose to continue treating someone like this ( if there wasn't anything physically/mentally/emotionally wrong with them ? Can someone act like this, and still be normal in a sense ? Is it just pure evil- or control issues ? Really how do we explain this behavior- is it one problem ( Me / addiction ) or possibly two or more issues that I just don't see. I'm really concerned about the whole thing, as we have children together - and I know I wouldn't want them to have to live like this/ or act like this either. Any ideas, or advise- if any of this sounds familiar please let me know how you handled it.
Thanks so much for anything you may have to offer on this

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