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Old 09-27-2011, 01:02 PM   #5
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Re: How long for my Dad?

Hello Garlin

I am so sorry for your pain and hurt. I sympathize with you having stood in your shoes some years ago.

When my Pop was diagnosed, the cancer had already spread to his brain and bones. It was pretty shocking as my Mom had been diagnosed a week earlier. To just round it off, one week after my Dad was diagnosed, my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. I felt like I had been hit with a truck.

My Dad was diagnosed the second week in September and passed away 6 months later in February. In painful irony, my uncle passed away 1 hour after my Dad. My Mom is a survivor.

Although it was a time of hurt and sorrow, those last months with my Pop also hold a lot of happy memories. He had ended up in a nursing home after brain surgery to relieve pressure left him paralyzed on the right side. I got him some small hand held games. He especially like the poker one. Whenever he got a really good hand, he would leave it for me to see. Then I would try to beat it. If he fell asleep while I was trying, I would leave it for him to see. Silly little goal, but it gave him something to try and accomplish each day. We would also sit and watch TV together. He liked Jeopardy because he was still able to think and he liked the challenge. We even joked around sometimes. I would climb up on the bed and say, "Okay. Old Man, time for a massage." I would push him to a sitting position and hold him up with my knees and then give him a back rub. It is a poignant and sweet memory.

He was losing the ability to walk once the cancer hit his brain. After the surgery, of course, the paralyzed side, really made it impossible. However, he was given Physical therapy on bars and helped along. I would move right along those bars with him and encourage him.

I guess what I would tell you is to be grateful for time with him now. Keep it easy and relaxed. Let him know you love him and don't be hesitant to show affection. His time here is most likely very limited at this point. Share your memories with him now, make some new ones for both of you to carry forward.