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Old 10-11-2011, 06:52 AM   #9
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
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Pittsburgh_Flye HB UserPittsburgh_Flye HB User
Re: I'm 45, have no parents left, and am lost...

Originally Posted by beccablob View Post
Although I am 42 and 'middle aged', I still very keenly feel the loss of my parents and I get jealous sometimes, of my friends, because they still have at least one parent still alive. I often wish I could rewind time and go back home, just to see them both again and to feel their hugs and warmth...but if wishes came true, beggars would ride, would they not? All I can do is concentrate on being around for my daughter as much as possible and try to enjoy what I do have, instead of living in yesterday.......My thoughts and kind wishes I send to you...x
Boy I know how you feel. ALLLLLLLLL of my friends still have at least their moms, if not BOTH parents still alive, and I would be a liar if I didn't say I feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear them talk about their moms, getting together with them, etc. Like you, I wish I could turn back time for ONE more interaction with my own parents, ONE MORE reassuring hug/word, ONE MORE shared experience, ONE MORE time for my daughter to be with them and know how much they love(d) her...

I try to subscribe to the logic of knowing that my parents would NOT want me to be a little puddle of sad and they would want me to go on and forge my own way and find happiness. But all happiness feels so empty at times...even the brightest lights are shadowed by them not being there to share in experiences, milestones, etc. Certainly time does "heal" all wounds but it's a very fragile healing - it can take even the smallest thing to trigger a memory and then the feeling of loss all over again, and open again the would is. It's not "good" to know there are other people suffering but it's comforting in a way just a BIT less isolating to know that we're not alone in our circumstances even when it feels like it.

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