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Old 02-21-2012, 01:58 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New York, New York, USA
Posts: 1
blueroses89 HB User
Facing the Truth

Hi everyone!

This is my first post, so first of all I should probably introduce myself. I am a 22 year old college senior. My major is in the performing arts, so of course I am very appearance conscious. I have always been naturally thin (I'm 5'6 and at my very "heaviest" a couple of years ago I was around 130), but recently I have become much more into exercise and watching what I eat, just because for my career it is so important to look your best at all times. I went on weight watchers last January, when I was initially trying to lose just a few pounds and get down to 125/120, but then I stuck with the program because I was loving the results. I started working out 4 to 5 times a week, and was feeling really good and healthy. The amount of "points" someone of my size is supposed to eat in a day on weight watchers is 29. This past September, though, I started eating less. I eventually got down to eating 7 points a day (I know, awful). I basically would fill up on tons of fruits and veggies, and then eat some soup or a piece of cheese and that was it. Today I had to get a physical exam at my school's health center, and the doctor said "I'm concerned, because your BMI is a little low." I was floored to hear this. I by no means look bony or emaciated, and I was always under the (false) impression that you have to look that way to have an ED. Anyway, I asked the doctor what my BMI and weight is, and he said my BMI is 17 and my weight is 110. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I haven't weighed 110 since middle school, I'm pretty sure. Then he said he recommends I make an appointment with an ED counselor here at school, which I did. I was in shock the whole time. I knew I wasn't being healthy, and I haven't had a menstrual period in months, but I guess I just put it out of my mind and didn't want to face it. Now I'm facing it, and it's a scary thing. I need to gain weight to be healthy, and I'm determined to do so. I want to weigh 115, but for some reason the idea of eating normally and actually gaining the weight is terrifying me. I'm also dealing with the idea of "how stupid am I to have let myself get to this point? I can't believe I've been doing this to my body."

Anyway, sorry, I know that was long, but I just needed to talk to other people who may have had similar experiences. Any advice/suggestions would be much appreciated! Thanks everyone!

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Phoenix (02-24-2012)
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