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Old 03-09-2012, 08:14 AM   #5
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Re: Living in a Care Facility

Originally Posted by bearcubs View Post
Nina, how do I deal with the fact that my mom is sitting in the chair in her room and she is alone. Sometimes she talks to other people and goes to some activities but it still bothers me to know she is just sitting in her room by herself. It is so sad.
If your Mom is in her room all day, you should check with the staff or the director to see why it is the case. You can request that they bring her out to the activity room or near the nurse station. Where my FIL is, they have both activity room and this living area near the nurse station so the residents don't have to be alone. They have the policy that they bring out every resident for breakfast, activity and etc. My FIL unfortunately no longer participates with the activities, but he closes his eyes and sleeps in his wheelchair in the publc area. You may want to ask the staff to bring Mom out to the public area so the nurse or the caregiver can see her.
The reason they bring out the residents is that they can watch them in a group. Sometimes my FIL asks to take a nap in his room, then they take him back to his room. After he wakes up, he would manage to tell the caregiver or nurse, then they will come to see him. They make sure my FIL goes to supper.
If the staff takes the round and watch Mom to make sure she is ok, then it may be another option. You probably feel that mom is lonely or ignored. But sometimes Mom may tune out as well. My FIL tunes out in the group this year. So Mom may not feel very bad. You feel bad because you feel that Mom will want to do something. She may not because she has declined.
However, my FIL still listens to music and sees the outside landscape or cars. I was told that my FIL is more alert in the early morning.

You may want to ask the staff to bring out something like that to call her attention. We have one on one caregiver 4 hours a week. Even if Mom does not engage with the caregiver, they can bring music to her and take her around to see the house or yard. She can see things through the windows too.

I agree someone should take her around to do something. But Mom may not be able to do what you would like her to do anymore.


Last edited by ninamarc; 03-09-2012 at 08:29 AM.