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Old 05-12-2012, 07:19 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Pa USA
Posts: 146
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Re: Relapsed, thinking suboxone is my only hope.

Thanks bolter. i appreciate the quick response. you were accurate in assuming that i just need some time where my whole thought process can get straightened out. i do hate being an addict. i dont think anyone gets up and one day says, hey! i wanna be a drug addict! hahaha. i feel as though i need some time under my belt with clean time. just something to help me through the beginning phases of it all. im sure you know what im talking about when i say that i have tried more times than i can count to beat this on my own. its not that im surrendering to it, im just accepting the fact that i need a little more than just my own willpower to get thru this. i wish this were easier. not easy. just easier. i remember very well being in my twenties and being the only one of myu friends at 29 that could honestly say that they never tried a drug. ever. here i am 6 years later and just want that clean life back where i didnt chase after refills, and friends who had some, and well, you know. im babbling. i was genuinely happy without so much as a drink. always laughing, smiling, etc.. again, thank you so much. i rely on these boards for support since my family seems to be allergic to supporting each other in anything. ill definately keep posting. ill call the va monday. theyll see me next day if i ask. so ill take my last dose sunday night and go in tuesday in pretty good withdrawals. i just dont want to risk going to early and end up thrown into withdrawals courtesy of subs! that would ssuck.... ill let ya know how it goes. any tips for success with this? ill do meetings. no problem. just not aa. did that before and dont like the people that go to my local meetongs. but i can try na for sure. there is an addiction counselor at the va so ill talk to them too. i think its required once a week for sub program. just as well, i need to understand whats driving me to use when what my head and heart truly want is sobriety. weird. have a good one. ttyl