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Old 05-17-2012, 07:19 PM   #4
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,058
katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: I just need to ask and say this


Hi, and welcome. Were you born there, in Germany?

Nah we don't want sympathy...we're not dieing...well not today.

Why do I continue to do this...hmm....haven't thought about that in a while. Well I was married for 26 years, but have been divorced for a little over a year now, happily divorced. I have kids, 2 boys, but they are 22 and 14 and don't need mom much these days...well the young one does, but his stepmom can walk and run and do all the fun stuff, so he's a typical self centered, "all about him" 14 yr old and rarely comes to moms. He'll figure out there's more important stuff as he gets older and mom will still be here.

I have no illusions that my pain will get better, it won't. My diseases are degenerative and they will get worse. As my Dr.s say, we "manage" things, we don't try to fix or cure. I've had 30 plus surgeries, most in the last 13 years and I've got many more ahead, I'm actually behind schedule on that because I'm being obstinate and have just enjoyed not being cut into for 2 whole years!!!!! My body sucks, yes, but my mind is good, well it's kinda not if you count the BiPolar, Seizure Disorder and Cluster Migraines....LoL, Geez I'm pretty screwed up!...but I've got 3 college Degrees, I still work as an Accountant, mostly from home because I don't drive much. I enjoy working. I'm a Certified Paralegal and I still do Pro Bono research for some of the smaller law firms in town who don't have the staff to cover all their needs, but aren't at the growth level to afford more staff. I like to research, so it works for all of us. My 3rd Degree is in Computer Science and I mostly use that one for my own jollies.

I've met alot of great folks on these boards, made great friends that I've had for years, and I like to help people when I can. My very awesome Pdoc (psychiatrist) got me started on this website in 2008, as an excercise....convinced me that in helping others and giving back, using my 26 years of experience in Pain, Disease and Medical Issues, both Mental and Physical, it helped make all the pain, fear, hell, years of hospitals, Dr.'s, procedures, therapies, surgeries... all of it mean something...and he was right. I've never left...well I blip away for a time here and there, but not for very long, I miss my friends too much.

I guess if I thought about why I did this everyday too much, I'd probably stop doing it...lord knows it ain't fun much of the time! I'm 43 and at most I've got about 20 yrs left and that's fine....not one of those folks who wants to live to be a 100...LOL...I don't have enough real organs left for that! True, I don't get out much, but I have the secret....I cook and I bake, so people come to me, everybody likes to be fed.

Never discount your own pain, each person's pain is very big and very real to them....