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Old 06-27-2012, 09:36 AM   #2
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Re: Family is falling apart

Welcome aboard! I am sorry that your parents are not well!
First of all, if Dad needs hospice, you should apply for hospice to see if he is qualified. He may not be qualified just because he looks sick. Once he is qualified, you can discuss this with Sister given the useful concrete info. I think your sister needs some strong reason to send them off to the AL or memory unit. If Dad needs hospice, he can use home hospice if it is a short time like a few months.
Now the house is running down and getting old. I know this problem. My FIL had stayed home for home care for 6 years in his very run down old house! We always had to fix this and that constantly to make sure my FIL could stay there. Finally he moved out in 2010 and we fixed it up and sold it this year.

I don't think it helps a lot to talk to sister about what you think that may work. Show her concrete proof for all the problems and show her some good AL or memory unit so she can be persuaded to look into it. However if she has Dad's POA, you have Mom's POA, it is a little bit of dividing here. I never heard of this before... (Usually Mom and Dad are together as a couple when it comes to POA, you know...) You need to sit down with your sister to discuss this without any bad mood or arguments. Maybe you can bring in the nursing home director or the doctor or hospice co. to talk to two of you. Discuss the matter together.

At least you can consider memory unit for Mom who has dementia. Dad may not need memory unit so you may need to consider a nursing home that has both AL and memory unit.

Take care,

Last edited by ninamarc; 06-27-2012 at 10:06 AM.