Thread: He Lied to Me!
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Old 07-20-2012, 04:58 PM   #2
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Re: He Lied to Me!

Ok first of all, you're not insane. This stuff that happened, yes it totally sucks but it's not uncommon (unfortunately). I think that in this situation, you need to see that he is the one who was doing the lying and you were the one going along thinking everything was ok. What does that say about you? That you are the one with integrity in this relationship. You get to walk away knowing that you're not the one who effed this up, he is. There's that, plus the fact that whenever you get into a relationship, it's always a risk. In reading your prior post, it sounds like you had a similar experience to me that most of the guys you've been in relationships have been less than honest. It's a tough thing to realize that but what is empowering about it is being able to look back and realize those were the wrong people for you so you aren't missing out by not being with them anymore.

It would probably be good for you at this point to spend some time on your own once you get him out of your life to just get comfortable with yourself again so you can realize that you don't actually need a guy in your life to make it complete. You can now concentrate on becoming a single, successful, independent person who is secure in themselves. Once you reach that level, you will be less likely to put up with any kind of nonsense from the next guy and you'll be less likely to want to stick around of he messes up. It's easier to walk away from a relationship when you realize it's ok to end it if you're not getting the same level of respect and loyalty that you're giving out. It's not necessary to keep trying work it out when you realize the guy is a shmoe and probably will never get a clue. Do you know what I mean?

So, give your self a break and don't be so hard on yourself. He is clearly an idiot and you're clearly better off without someone like him. You can start making plans for your future now before you move out because then he will see that you mean it and you're not playing this game anymore. He needs to realize that he screwed up and he will be the one left alone while you move on to much better things and better people in your life.

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