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Old 08-16-2012, 06:39 AM   #4
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Re: Another question...sorry for bothering

Ill second that there are no stupid ask away.

Let me tell you, I have been dx with MS for about 7 years. My onset symptom was in my hands and fingers. I have over 80 lesions on my brain and brainstem- and none on my spine. The location of the lesions is what causes problems...not how many. (lucky for me!).

I have zero gait problems and no leg problems. No muscle weakness in my legs, only the occasional tingling in my feet- and thats random; however - my arms, hands and fingers have hurt for 7 years. They tingle and burn- I have definately lost strength and muscle tone- and Im female and small to begin with. I was never a body builder or someone who lifted alot of weight; however, now , carrying in a bag of groceries exhuasts my arms. I cant play tennis any longer (used to love that) and I have learned to do quite a bit of things I enjoy with one hand, as the left side is significantly less able than the right side.

ive been a student for the past 7 years as well- in order to type thesis's and now my disseratation, we are talking thousands of pages, I use voice recognititon software because typing doesnt always work for me. I can tell my brain what to type, but my fingers dont always cooperate. Now I speak to type...and it saves me both strength and frustration. I can still drive because I can use my feet just fine; but I can no longer drive a manual transmission, because my hands dont shift the gearshift the way they should.

My point here is that everyone is different. They call MS the snowflake disease. Just like no two snowflakes are identical, youll never find any two MS patients with the exact same symptoms or progression. Its also invisiable to most people. In the 7 years Ive been dx, not one person has ever known Ive had MS unless I tell them. I can be having the worst day of my life- being cognitively all over the place and mentally and physically exhuasted- but I still work full time, still take care of my family and home- still go to school at night and on the weekends, and no one suspects a thing. Im very careful who I share my disease with. Ive learned the hard way over the years that yes, people DO judge. And they arent always kind about it.

Your questions arent stupid, and your fear is legitimite. I think we have all been there. I have gotten some terrible news about my disease recently and am juggling a whole host of emotions and fears- its good to share them with others who understand, so never stop asking about whats on your mind- just make sure you are asking people who "get it" ...we do!

RRMS- dx 05