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Old 09-27-2012, 10:05 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Oregon
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Re: Going over the edge....

I know how you feel & I'm not even working... You really are doing awesome even though it doesn't feel like it!
I used to raise farm & game birds. Then the last few yrs I've slowely gotten rid of my birds. My husband had to take over. But last summer I fed the animals & hatched babies. But by the end of summer I would be out in the feild in tears sooo frustraited. It just too much. This year I hatched out some but really workin on getting rid of many breeders so less work. It's taken this long for me to tell my husband that I'm really done with it all. He's afraid I'm giving up. I just need to focus on myself, exercising & taking care of our 4 kids. I feel like i can't keep on top of anything.
But, I agreed to our garden this year so been allot of work freezing & canning... I've had some go bad before I could get to them. But I can only do my best. Then I also agreed on raising steers, Cornish chickens & pigs for food... The steers are bottle calves. So I spend all morning dreading having to go feed them & the rest of the animals. Mornings are the worst with pain & exhaustion. So have to wait for all my meds to work for alittle bit of releif.
So, I spend all morning dreading it... The anxiety is horable because you feel awful. Trying to find that little bit of ambition to find the strength to get moving. All my energy (if that's what you call it), goes into feeding the animals. But soon it'll all be up to my husband again because it is too much for me.
So, here are some ideas... Are you able to take a few weeks off? If so maybe that'll help. You can focus on getting important stuff done around the house & rest... Rest is the most important. Maybe this break will give you the rest you need to get back into working again.
It's great they cut the hours back but maybe you will need to start going in twice a week instead.
That's wonderful you will be diagnosed soon! You will get answers!
I'm not sure I your med free but if you are, going on meds do help
Try not to give up the job. You may be able to handle it well after you are on a treatment plan!
Just know that you are not alone & to be proud of yourself for all that you are doing & not what you need to do. Unfortunetly having fibro you have to learn to live with it & work around it...
Fatigue & Derealization~ 1999
Hypothyroid~ 2003
Back injury~ 2005
Severe Degenerative Disk, Arthritis, Mild Scoliosis.
Fibromyalgia~ 2009