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Old 10-01-2012, 11:25 PM   #14
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 21
Maria215 HB User
Re: Family is falling apart

Well - much has changed since my posts earlier this summer and I need to talk. My dad passed away on 9/2/12. He did not want to die. The last two years just got worse and worse with his condition and the ugly condition of the house. He was totally out of it at the end but was still primary caregiver for my mom who has frontal lobe dementia. Long story short - my dad couldn't care for her. I have one sister looking out for herself and her two boys now. We moved my mom to assisted living today. I am her healthcare POA (not activated). Mom had no control over finances for the 54 years she was married to my dad and now my sister is setting up use of the cottage for her two boys and giving me grief on essentials I'm spending on my mom such as a shower chair, towels, etc. She has questioned purchasing new towels for mom when mom hasn't had new ones forever. The ones mom had were from me because hers were so bad and my dad never covered that stuff or gave her money for it even though my mom worked for years.

My sister wants my mom's bank account to change from mom and dad's name for writing checks to my mom's, mine, and hers. I don't trust her. Mom doesn't want her on the account. I don't know what to do. We just moved mom in today and my sister went through her purse and admitted that to me (red flag!). She said because there is money in it, we better hide her purse in the apartment so nobody gets at it. Sorry but the only one looking for money is her.

Any suggestions? I know you have all been through it too.