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Old 10-21-2012, 08:55 PM   #5
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: first time college student parents

Hi there, great topic! I think my perspective may help you, as me reading your experience has helped me a lot!

I am the other side of the coin. My son is going to college too, first year, but instead of going away to school, he is going to community college and living at home. While your son is studying at the study hall or in his dorm room, mine is mixing it in with several friends in his room. While you are sitting down to dinner, I am watching the same group of kidults raid my refrigerator. While each of them has handsome job search going on, none of them is yet to start off right.

Where as four months ago, I was full of hope and inspiration, today was a typical day where son and girlfriend are out in the ocean, in San Diego California!What is this? After graduating, what happens next if your iron clad plan isnt off to the start you expected?

While, of course, I write this tongue in cheek, over exagerated a bit, but just to show you that we are all in the same boat whether good or bad. We are in those critical years after high school, where everthing is up in the air.Be it that your child is not ready to make these huge life altering decisions without our guidance. They are the "kiddult" half kid, half adult. In practice they are unsure, inexperienced, poor and dumb and by nature are irresponsible and prone to mistakes.

Then there are us mothers and fathers, who are equally shaky, in a tough transition with puberty behind us (or not) and possibly menopause too!We are desperately trying to hold on the that little boy/girl we knew so well a few weeks or months ago, while let go of that young man standing in his place.

I have another thing in common with you, I have chronic illness in my life, that I use this place to both recover and to rejoin life. I survived 4 strokes 9 years ago, and have been stroke free for 9 lives. Parenting has definatly been an area of recovery that I have not addressed in my time here, but I would like to add that to my list of things to do.

As far as encouragement as to what you should do to fill your time, I agree with the others here, great ideas for things to do. I would never hold back any love you are feeling. So you are silly, that is fine. Ask him how many times a day you can text him without it interfering with his school or social activities. I hope he has plans to go to the dances, big games and other social events. It is there he will get his college memories, friends and social interest

I would love to share notes as we go through this year together, if you are interested. It will be both educational and funny.

Best wishes to you my friend, Janet

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workinmom572 (10-22-2012)