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Old 11-15-2012, 12:03 AM   #17
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,100
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Re: My friend making bad decisions with her 15yo daughter

Hello, This post caught my eye, and I wanted to comment on the"coach" and K's relationship.

It sounds as if K is getting mixed messages from her mother, if she is not managing her cutting and eating disorder, while allowing this adult so much access to her daughter. This is no time for the mother to allow others to take the reins in her daughters life. It seems as if the mother could be in denial about how potentially serious this whole thing is for her daughter.

It sounds as if both the mother and daughter need to be under the guidance of a good therapist to help them navigate this phase of both their lives. It is high time the mother step into the drivers seat and take charge of this tragedy waiting to happen.

I applaud you for your concern for your friend and her daughter. The coach is just one too many right now, and her time and relationship with K should be limited to its best function, if there is one. Is this woman aware of K's issues, and her treatment?

It sounds as if K has never needed her mother more than she does right now in her life. Are you able to speak to K yourself privately and ask her if you can help? Maybe you could gain some idea about K's feelings and her idea of what her needs are.

Could there be trauma underlying all this that the mother is in denial over? Where is the father in the picture?

In this case, it is K who needs the attention from someone who can best help her through. I would really want to jump in and get some action going, if I could. Is that something you could do as well? I hope it does not take a horrible turn to get this young woman the help she needs. You sound like you have her best interest in mind. Please let us know what goes on from here. I can see how tricky this whole thing could be to get involved in, but you are laready involved...I think the answer is in your heart, and you just have to think about it to see the answer. Best to you...