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Old 04-05-2013, 03:52 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 3
allisonrenee HB User
cheating, OCD and false memories

hey guys. here's my story: i've been in a relationship for 3 years. we've had trust issues due to my bf lying, but he's stopped and is a completely changed person. i consider myself the type of person who would NEVER cheat. but recently, i've been thinking back to this specific night a year and a half ago where i walked to my car with a co-worker. i can remember walking to my car and hugging my co-worker then getting into my car and driving home. yet, when i think back on the night, my mind is telling me "maybe you slept with him and don't remember" or "maybe you kissed and you forgot." i do not know where these thoughts are coming from because i know if i cheated i'd remember; i seem to have a very good memory. but i am beginning to feel guilt as if i did cheat, or did something i should not have. it's truly driving em crazy and it is making me unable to enjoy life. it takes over every aspect of my brain; i think about it at home and at school. i have not talked to this coworker since around the time we walked to our cars together.

i really hope someone, anyone can relate. i feel psychotic. i've told my boyfriend about the guilt i feel, as if i've done something wrong, and he tells me that he trusts my judgment. yet, i seem to not trust my own...? any reply is much appreciated.

oh also, when he lied, i would fixate on his lies and it took me FOREVER to see that he was telling the truth. like he'd add a girl on ******** and i'd automatically suspect they were talking. it's like, now that i trust him, i'm finding another issue to fixate on.

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