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Old 02-01-2019, 07:05 AM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 9
Bloombox HB User
Double vision (diplopia) on lateral gazes: meds or pulled muscle?

Hey there,

F33, hypochondriac, schizophrenic, general anxiety, highly depressive... But otherwise healthy I guess. Currently taking Zoloft and Lysanxia.

Long story short: I see double on my left lateral gaze. It's also present on the right but a lot weaker. It didn't happen overnight either. I've suffered from positional vertigo since march after what was diagnosed as BPPV which evolved into chronic dizziness/disequilibrium/vertigo depending on the situation.

In my anxiety I linked dizziness and nystagmus and kept on looking for it on my own for months using a camera. To make things even worse I started to develop some kind of random blurry vision and accomodation problems after taking Zoloft, especially when trying to shave my armpits... Worse on the left that the right. It hurt, my eyes just couldn't focus and go that "left". I also felt like my left eye was lagging behind the other one sometimes. This was this summer.

In my compulsive search for my nystagmus (while lowering Zoloft as the drug doesn't suit me) I triggered one when looking as far as I could on the left. I kept on doing it. It hurt. I started seeing double on my extreme lateral left gaze after that. It was in October.
Since then I can't help but stretch my eyes to check whether this diplopia is getting worse, and everytime I overdo myself (and it hurts a lot, believe me) the double vision chronically gets worse. My eyes are painful, turning them is painful, they water...

Now it isn't my EXTREME gaze but close to it. I've had a ptosis on my left eyelid which has gotten worse, but the 3 GPs and my psychiatrist won't dare call that a ptosis as it isn't strong enough to impair my vision.

As for double vision... Nobody's given my an explanation. I seem to have a full range of motion (there's like 1 millimeter of sclera left on the outside on both sides but I've been told it's normal), no esotropia or anything. I feel like I "damaged" my extraocular muscles or something but it's apparently not possible (my ophthalmologist said so). Yet I know my body, I know it got worse everytime I purposefully hurt myself as much as I could by moving them as far as I could.

Now all I'm left with is pain, watering dry eyes and diplopia. I think I had already some kind of diplopia on my lateral gazes before but I'm not sure... I'm myopic and astigmatic.

Any idea? Hurting myself? Trained myself to see double? It's become my #1 fear and obsession.

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