Thread: feel horrible
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Old 02-24-2004, 05:54 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 91
jillybelly HB User
Unhappy feel horrible

I told my friends, family, doctor, and even the cops, all about Donald and how he abused me and harrassed me after I broke up with him.

But now, I'm lonely, scared, and have lost all desire for anything. I haven't done homework in ages... I'm falling so far behind I just don't even want to think about catching up. I saw a doctor today, asked him to up my effexor because I'm so depressed and my mind is all boggled... He wouldn't do it because I'm "only 17" and he doesn't believe in medicating pediatrics...

My head is so full of everything that I don't even think anymore. I'm stuck on survival mode, and only once in a while do I wake up enough to smile. Everybody is getting mad at me, especially my teachers...

I just want to melt into the ground and never come back up.

Oh, and if it couldn't get worse... I found out that after my boyfriend who hit me and threatened me, controlled me and insulted me, after I left him I found out he was sleeping around on me. Two of the girls we hung out with... Whenever I wasn't around he was sleeping with them. And that was a lot lately because of my asthma...

Now I've got to get checked out for STD's because those girls are very premiscious (god i've got no idea how to spell that)... Yeah, so he stalked me, and harassed me, even wrote letters to me because he "wanted me back" so bad... and yet he was ************* other girls...

I hate my life. I feel horrible, worthless, ugly... I know, my friends call me pretty, the guys in my school all flirt with me... but it's not the same... It's never the same when the guy you're with treats you like dirt. He said he loved me... he only loved himself. And yet... my mind tells me I'm an ugly worthless piece of dirt.

I want my mom

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