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Old 03-10-2004, 10:57 AM   #9
injured betty
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,135
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Re: 4 yr old son Dxed w/ADHD today

Originally Posted by Chellaine
My 4 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD today but I think there is more to it than that. I knew there was a problem from the time he was about 1 1/2 yrs old. He IS hyper and always has been. His attention span is about this long __ . BUT, He also has other things going on like, fascination with fire, to the point of almost burning my house down last week, He found a lighter, yes my fault and I feel horrible and blame myself, started a fire in a garbage can in the living room while I was in the kitchen and almost caught the curtains on fire. The whole time just staring at the fire and laughing. He is also obsessive/compulsive. He didn't talk until he was 3. He is developmentally delayed, he is at the age level of a 2 yr old. He can not go to pre-school at public school, he has to go to the psychiatric center in our city, luckily they have a wonderful pre-school program for children like him. He shows little emotion other than anger. He has never shown sadness or remorse. When he hurts someone, he doesn't care. For a while I thought he had toddler Tourettes for the way he was cussing everyone out, words I don't even use. The school says it's normal with kids like him. Not normal for kids, but for kids like him. He has never wanted to be touched much, he won't let you cuddle or hug him much, unless it's his idea. It hurts me so bad to see him this way, I love him so much and I sit and wonder if this is all my fault? What did I do for him to deserve this? And will he ever forgive me. The Psychiatrist today said he has some Autistic traits but he isn't Autistic. I just don't understand. He also said that in children this young, they don't like to put them on meds for ADHD or hyperactivity but because he is so violent he wants to try him on Risperdal and see how that works. He is to take 1/2 of a 0.25 pill every morning to start.
Well, I am sorry this was so long but I had so much to say, I have so much more but I don't want to write a book.
Thank you all for letting me vent.
Some kids are born without a conscience, they just are. No one knows why. You didn't really go into detail about his feelings. If he does something wrong or hurts someone, is he sorry? Does he know the difference? You said that he doesn't care, but does he show acknowledgement of wrongdoing? At least he shows anger, that is a start. My foster daughter had no emotions.

I raised a child who had no conscience, a foster child. When she was young she was a high achiever. She also didn't have any impulse control, was OCD, and just didn't care about her actions. As she grew older we realized that it was not something that she chose but was a flaw in her makeup. She didn't have the ability to care. She has since gone on to become a manipulator. Since life was so hard for her she ended up a drug addict and in prison. She is a model prisoner.

This is really scary but from the post that you wrote regarding your son't behavior, one can tell that you are really concerned and rightfully so. Don't take one doctor's word for it, get as many tests and opinions on this as possible as you have your child's future to think about. There are a lot of programs out there who can help you to test him. ADHD is the first diagnoses that doctors usually jump to in my experience. Hopefully you will get better answers. FWIW: Autistic kids can talk and some are very high achievers, even geniuses.

Your son sounds a lot like my foster daughter. My heart breaks when I think about all that she has been through, to no fault of her own, just a bump in the genetic strand.

This may sound really corny, and I don't always agree with Dr. Phil, but you might try contacting him as he seems to have an interest in kids and kids behavior. There is also a book called Indigo Kids that you might want to check out. It helped me.