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Second abusive marriage

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Old 01-13-2017, 10:26 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1
Wenwenwen HB User
Unhappy Second abusive marriage

My husband s dad helped us pay off my siblings so I could keep my childhood home after my mom passed away. Long story, I'll be brief. Everytime I work it doesn't seem to fit his schedule or he beliiles me and I quit. He is too physically strict on my daughter's and claims he tolerate them. Calls us names including cuss words and threatens to kick out kids or call police. Has been known to destroy property of child with special needs. Someone please reply. It's getting to be too much. Also he uses and won't go to family or any other counseling. Thanks for your input--- Christian mom

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Old 01-14-2017, 10:32 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Grand Rapids,MI U.S.A.
Posts: 28
justadude HB User
Re: Second abusive marriage

You are being treated bad and it should not be happening. Just to have your childhood home is this treatment worth it. Need to find someone better for your children's sake.

Pray earnestly you will be heard.

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Old 01-14-2017, 01:02 PM   #3
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Re: Second abusive marriage

Dear Wenwenwen,

If the house is not in your name it is not yours at all. Is it in your name? If it is, you have legal rights that the law can help you with. If it is not in your name, you need to let go of it and get help caring for and protecting your children. No one can do this by themselves. There is help out there, though.

It is not safe to confront your husband or his father in any way. You already know your husband is not taking responsibility, so you are the parent left to do it. This is a very serious situation and you need to get the law on your side for your own safety and the safety of your children.

I understand the confusion that abuse causes. I am Christian. We are taught to turn the other cheek. But this isn't about just you. Being Christian means taking responsibility for the safety of yourself and your children. If what you say is completely true, call Child Protective Services right away and confess that you and the children are in danger. Make sure that you are completely honest. Tell them that you need their help to get things in order for your children's protection.

If you don't do this, you are teaching your children by your example that they deserve to be mistreated. If you let this go on it will cripple their lives and you, the sober one, will be responsible for not taking action. Maybe your husband will try to say this trouble is all your fault. But if you are completely honest and say you are not perfect, but you want help to protect the children there ARE open ears.

If you don't protect your children they will blame you, not their father. I learned this the hard way, by not being protected from abuse when I was a child and then growing up to be afraid to ask for and accept help from the proper authorities. It has taken my children many years to begin to forgive me, even though they know I also was not protected as a child.

Sometimes we can mistakenly think being quiet is the best thing to do. Because we are not perfect, we can be afraid to speak to the people that can legally help us. But telling the truth is the right thing to do...tell the truth to people that can and will help you get legal advice and protection, esp for your helpless handicapped child and the other children. You all deserve to be helped.

I know this hard information by my own past experience.
Please tell me you will get help.

~ Ya Ya ~

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