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  • Am I overreacting?

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    Old 06-10-2018, 12:23 PM   #1
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    Am I overreacting?

    My husband and I have been married for just over a year and have struggled with explosive fights. Though they have improved, we had another episode today. I am torn between what I should do.

    With every fight, we both played a major role in how it escalated. I am currently 8 months pregnant and do have a short fuse at the moment. I got very upset when he threw our dog a chicken bone given the potential health risks associated. His response was to mock me and start yelling insults because I was upset. My reaction was to get dressed and try to leave the house to cool off. My husband has a habit of blocking the door or taking my keys when I try to leave, which was the case this time. I completely lose my cool when he lords over me and makes me feel like a captive or prisoner in our own home. This makes me feel even more frustrated because he is a police officer, and I feel like he goes into cop mode to "detain me" rather than treat me like an equal. I threw my phone at the wall, and he instantly grabs my arms and twists them behind my back before marching me across the house and throwing me into our bedroom. I threw hangers in the hallway after he shoved me into the room.

    I feel very frustrated. I tried to just leave the house to cool down because I could feel that this fight would escalate if I did not take some space. My husband is about 6"1 and I am 5" when he blocks me from leaving or grabs me I feel even more enraged and minimized. I dont know if that would even be considered abuse, but I feel like I am at the end of my rope. I understand my part, but I feel like it is totally unacceptable to grab your spouse and forcefully restrain them. Am I wrong?

    He is uninterested in therapy and says he will restrain me any time he feels like he needs to (including pulling me back from the door if I try to leave). We do not have fights like this constantly, but I feel more and more detached each time they happen. I would appreciate input and advice.

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    Old 06-10-2018, 04:49 PM   #2
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    Re: Am I overreacting?

    Hello. Honestly, the two of you are acting like children- not like the parents you are about to become.

    Adults do not act like this. Both of you have some anger issues to work out and are you overreacting? Yes and No. You are every bit as much at fault as he is..
    Instead of overreacting as you did, you should have picked the bone off the floor (or taken it away from the dog) and explained to him that chicken bones are dangerous for your dog to have....if he argued with you at that point, go into another room and cool off. Even the bathroom will do...yelling, screaming and trying to leave are obviously his hot buttons.

    He on the other hand, has no right to forcibly stop you from leaving; however, leaving at 8 months pregnant is not a good idea either.

    He wont get counseling? Does he work? Can you go by yourself while he is at work? Do you want to raise a baby in this environment? You have allot of decisions to make; but both of you need to change for this to work...

    It really sounds like you are both lacking in the communication department. If you cant talk to each other like adults, how will you raise a healthy child?

    If you cant get him to get help, please go for yourself and learn how to better control your own temper and figure out if you really want to be in this relationship or not...the only thing you can change is YOU.

    Good luck!
    RRMS- dx 05

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    Old 06-10-2018, 05:24 PM   #3
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    Re: Am I overreacting?

    No you're no over reacting, this doesn't sound like healthy relationship.

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    Old 06-25-2018, 08:33 AM   #4
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    Re: Am I overreacting?

    He is a policeman, he's suppose to make sure people are safe, but he's NOT doing that with you, youre going to regret staying with him when it becomes ever worse later on. You are pregnant, yet your not thinking about what he could possibly do to you and harm this child.

    You need to grow up and seek help for abused women...Ö..I hope you do it.

    Last edited by Administrator; 06-25-2018 at 08:51 AM.

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    Old 12-26-2019, 05:31 PM   #5
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    Re: Am I overreacting?

    NO you are not over reacting, lots of cops have issues of abuse directed at their family members. Yes their jobs are stressful but that is no reason to take it out on their families. And with you being pregnant and him treating you this way, honey it only gets worse from here, he will figure once the baby is born you are stuck. RUN


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    Old 12-27-2019, 04:02 PM   #6
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    Red face Re: Am I overreacting?

    I totally agree with the other don't have an adult relationship..your husband thinks he is your father and your the need to get out of there before something really bad happens...there are shelters for women who need help..if you don't go now...and something happens it will be to late...think about yourself....obviously he ISN'T!

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