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  • Am i being emotionaly abused?!

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    Old 02-04-2011, 04:35 PM   #16
    PrincessSweetNS
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Oh darling. You are indeed being abused. My hear broke reading your post. How a mother could treat her child like that is beyond my skill to comprehend. honey, you don't deserve that at all. And there are no accidents when it comes to conceiving a baby, everyone who is here was meant to be here. Please do stop hurting yourself, you can stop this, you are a strong, smart young woman.

    Do something you enjoy our think you may enjoy, and even if you feel a tiny bit better, keep doing it.
    Stop cleaning your house. At least the crazy in depth stuff. Then someone will have to step in. don't be scared of foster care, it doesn't have to be long. You will soon be out of the house, as someone else said, picture yourself in a protective egg shell and one day soon you will hatch and show everyone what a living, warm, smart young lass you are.

     
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    Old 02-10-2011, 01:43 PM   #17
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    as a mum myself i just want too hug you and say yes honey you are being emotionally and verbally abused kid hard as it may be to ignore this unfair treatment from your mum. Please keep telling yourself I will not let anyone live in my head rent free neg thoughts and low self esteem is not the way any mother should teach her children xxxx big warm hugs and lost of positive thoughts coming your way you seem like a wonderfull human being wish you lots of happiness you deserve it xx caz

     
    Old 02-11-2011, 10:21 AM   #18
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Wednesday, We have not heard from you in a while. I hope you are still with us, we want you to continue forging ahead and keep the fight up! We want to help you until you feel things are better.

    You are not alone, and you need the help of others who are there to do so. I am hoping you are reading this and will respond, so we can keep the conversation going.

    Remember, your story is shared with many young people around this world, unfortunately. For everyone that responds, there are hundreds of people who read along and use your story as inspiration in their own life. You would be amazed to know how many young people you are helping just by having the strength to come forward and seek help yourself!

    We are here for you and all the others out there who have not yet come forward. You are brave and strong enough to get through this and lead a free happy life, but we all need a hand sometimes. We are here for you.

     
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    Old 02-28-2011, 03:40 PM   #19
    WednesdayK
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Sorry for not responding. I haven't had contact to a computer for a while.

    To everyone:
    Thank you. Thank you so much. I read all the posts today and i couldn't help but cry happy tears. It's amazing how supportive you all are and you haven't even met me. I wish i had more people around me that were supportive. <3

    Lately, Ive been trying to get help. I talked the the school counselor a lot and she was helping me find a way out. Unfortunately, Theres not much hope of getting out until i'm 18 because i have not been recently PHYSICALLY abused.
    My mom found out i was talking to the counselor and i got in a lot of trouble.
    After that, i started getting migraines all the time and everyday. I couldn't think, i couldn't sleep and it hurt so much.

    I finally went back to the counselor after begging my mom to take me to a doctor and her refusing each time. She told me about i fee clinic so i decided i would go, but before i could my mom found out AGAIN and not only am i in trouble, she wants to take me out of my school for getting support. She left angry messages on the counselors phone.

    Finally my mother took me to a doctor all the while in an angry fit, and when we got there i ask my mom if i could have my privacy because she kept interrupting me every time i tried to answer the docs questions. She left EVEN MADDER. I told the doctor that i was under some stress, he asked me where on my head it hurt and then he said he wanted to put me on ZOLOFT because he said my migraine were occurring because i was having to much stress. He told my mom and then my mom kicked me out of the room and i could here her through the door yelling at the doctor about me saying things like "i manipulated him" and im a "Liar" and that "nothing i said was the truth".

    In the car i was crying because she wouldn't stop yelling at me and she kept saying that i was rude and a liar and manipulative and that there will be severe consequences and im an irresponsible and im a disgrace...She said she didnt even care about me and more i was going to have to fend for myself because i got myself into this and "you can buy your own medicine because i dont care about you anymore"
    We got home and i cried the whole night...Little did my mom know that i had called my boyfriend when we had first gotten in the car and he heard everything.

    She still hasn't said sorry to me. I cant talk to the school counselor anymore because she'll take me out of school and im grounded for a prescription that i didn't even ask for.

    It just keeps getting worse the more and more i stay here yet i still don't have enough proof to get out.

     
    Old 03-01-2011, 01:38 PM   #20
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Wednesday,

    We are relieved to hear from you again, but the news is so difficult to hear...I am terribly sorry for what you are continuing to go through, I want so much to put my arms around you and make it all OK for you...

    Now that you have had contact with a doctor that has had a chance to see your mother in action, I would encourage you to contact that doctor and ask for help. This would all fall under that patient doctor privilege as far as privacy goes. He would be able to help you, and would be required to report any signs of abuse, and your mother's tirade would surely be enough for him to get the picture of what your home life must be like. If she has not provided you the medication called for, that is another form of neglect and abuse. Please do not give up until you get yourself out of that environment.

    We will continue to be behind you, and support you. There is no mother that I know that could ever inflict such pain on a child they have been blessed with. It is not your fault, and never has been. You are very close to freedom, and we all want to do whatever we can to help you gain that freedom that you deserve.

    One day this will all be over for you, and life will open up to the place you belong in, and deserve to be in. love to you,

    janet

     
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    Old 03-04-2011, 07:41 AM   #21
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    you do not have to accept unacceptable behavior!

     
    Old 03-12-2011, 02:31 PM   #22
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    seems like it to me. you can record her calling you names some how.

     
    Old 03-15-2011, 01:58 PM   #23
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Hi Wednesday K, wow I couldnt believe you were still a teenager as you are so eloquent and articulate and smart, you really sound like a wise and strong person. You know what, youre message reminded me of a film called Precious about a really lovely girl who gets abused by her Mum. From reading your message I feel that you have certainly been mistreated and abused. I hope that doesnt upset you to hear that but I think that sometimes we have to face things head on to really deal with them. It sounds like you are doing things to help your situation by seeing a counsellor and asking for help and that is really amazing that you are taking these steps.

    I feel that your Mum has really let you down but I also feel that you still very much care for her, almost as if you are taking care of her, it sounds as if your household is role reversed with you doing all the cleaning etc. I feel that your Mum wants to keep you under her control because she cant let go of the control. The awful things she said to you are so wrong, yet you still feel you cant leave the family home. You seem like such a sweet and caring person who wants to please other people. I think you need to remember that you need taking care of too. You are a young woman who is starting her journey into adulthood and you need to get the best start you can. I really would urge you to try and spend time away from the home.

    Can you stay anywhere else for a couple of nights per week to give yourself a break. You need to get help from people and stop feelinmg so responsible for your Mum. You arent grown up yet and you need love and reassurance. If you dont get that at home you will need it from somewhere, perhaps a family member, school counsellor or friends parents. I would love for you to seek outside help but if you feel you cannotm at least give yourself some mental rest. Keep a journal, do things you enjoy and try to look to the future. One day you will leave home and make a life for yourself. You dont have to be controlled and I think you will leave when you feel strong enough, but please try and make that step strongly and without guilt. You shouls not be feeling guilty about wanting your own life. You deserve so much more than this and I hope you get all you wish for. Bless ya...

     
    Old 03-15-2011, 02:03 PM   #24
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    just read your message and made me feel really sad for you cos its so unfair when you try so hard to please someone and they hurt you like that...Im sure you know this already but please try and allow yourself to believe in YOU and that you can get better. Just because we arent being beaten or abused every day doesnt mean we should except abuse no matter how mild. You are never too old to get and find yourself and find love elsewhere. Perhaps you feel your esteem is beyond help but I bet you are stronger than you think when alone. You dont need to prove yourself and there are things you can do to escape. No cheating man who puts you down is worth losing sight of who you are for...us women are a strong breed and often we are under estimated, its us women that keep things ticking along when things get tough so please value yourself, you sound like a lovely woman who just needs a good shoulder...

     
    Old 03-16-2011, 07:51 PM   #25
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Thank you Katy. As i read your response to my post i noticed that you really understand me. I DO love my mom but i don't at the same time. I can't leave. My mother's made it very clear.
    I try to get out as much as I can but I'm constantly grounded. Mostly because when my moms having a bad day she blames me for it and then i try to approach her (In the nicest way possible) That it hurts my feeling when she is mean to me. Unfortunately, She doesn't care.

    Also, recently i got grounded from ever spending the night any where ever again. Apparently that means no one can come over either. This happened because i went to a party and decided to leave because it got uncomfortable (drinking...ect...) and i ended up spending the night with one of my friends. I didn't come home right away because i was not only scared but she had told me that she was going to be out of town till the next day. When i got home i told her what happened and she grounded me because i didn't come home right away.
    She went a little over the top so leaving the house is hard. Just when i think my life couldn't get worse, It does.
    I feel like im running out of options. I feel like ive done everything i can to get out. Nothing seems to work. My only option is the wait 2 years till im 18. I CANT WAIT THAT LONG!

     
    Old 03-18-2011, 02:48 AM   #26
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Hi hun. sorry I didnt write back sooner but Im so glad you responded.
    I feel so sorry for you sweetheart that youre coping with all this alone, I know youve got friends and family but it sounds as if you feel so trapped when youre at home. I know this might sound judgemental but I dont mean it to, but why arent the authorities getting involved in this abuse, its not fair that you suffer alone for the next two years?

    Do you think that foster care on a temporary basis might at least give you some respite? or perhaps make your Mum realise that what she is doing is so wrong and perhaps then accept her own faults and get some help? I know the thought of being placed with other adults might seem scary especially as you must have trust issues now with people (understandably!) but is their a kind aunt, grandma or friends Mom you could turn to. I hate the thought of you being all alone in this.

    I, too went through abuse when I was 14 but it wasnt the same as yours. It took a while for me to get over it and I had to make life changes and go to therapy when I got older but I always knew in my head that I would get through it and I can tell you that I did and have a happy life now that I love. What Im trying to say is that there is hope for everyone hun...... I know it sounds odd but do you ever write any of this stuff down cos I can guarantee it would be cathartic and also perhaps one day it would be used to help others...I know youre strong and amazing girl. Write back, Look forward to speaking with you...Katyx

     
    Old 03-19-2011, 10:06 AM   #27
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Thank you for all your kind words and support.

    to Answer some of your questions, I'v tried to get authorities to get involved but like i said in an earlier post, I have no hard evidence. I wish i could just get a psych evaluation because my mental trauma should be enough but Child Protective Services won't get involved unless its physical.

    I am scared of people with people I don't know so being a foster child seems really scary. And i want to stay where i like because i love my school and i love this town. Also i dont have any relatives aside from my mom...

    I am so sorry you were abused as a child. I NEVER want anyone to feel the way i do. I specially don't want people to be abused period! I'm glad your life is good now. I really hope i'll have the same out come.

    I used to keep a journal of everything that happened in my life and my thoughts and feelings but my mom kept getting into it and no matter where i hid it she always knew so i stopped.

    I hope some i day i can hang out with children that have been abused and help them get out of it. I hate the way i feel in the inside...And to see other kids suffer the way i do would make me suffer worse.

     
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    Old 03-19-2011, 04:41 PM   #28
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Your mother is not well. She does not treat you with respect and has probably lived that way her entire life so knows no better. Do not listen to or believe anything she says. Lay low. Keep out of her way. As soon as you are able to get out on your own, get away from the situation and build a healthy, positive life that you can enjoy. Surround yourself with positive, caring people, and a job and activities that you enjoy. Work on getting a good education so you can support yourself and save for the future. Always remember to not treat others as your mother has made you feel.

    She will always be your mother but keep a safe, healthy distance. Do not let her shadow and ruin your life. She is not well.

     
    Old 03-21-2011, 08:41 AM   #29
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Have you thought about telling the social worker about her? The social worker can find a way to help her and you need to be away from her. Get out of her sight and try to find help - maybe you can go to a shelter although I am not sure how the social system works for this. There is one shelter for abused wife, for example.
    Your Mom had/have been abused for a long time but she should not abuse you. A dog lease on your neck is not right. There is a soft rope for parents to hold onto the kids, but not like this! It was cruel on you as a toddler!! It is natural for her to abuse you because she was abused. She needs to get help as well.
    It is hard to sue your own Mom, but you need to tell a social worker about it and get out of her house. Let the system take care of her.

    Take care,
    Nina

    Last edited by ninamarc; 03-21-2011 at 02:53 PM.

     
    Old 03-23-2011, 11:08 AM   #30
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    Re: Am i being emotionaly abused?!

    Reading your story brought tears to my eyes. I am almost 24 years old. I have been a victim of this sort of abuse since I can remember. I finally have released myself from her control. Don't let it continue, it just gets worse the abuser gets to the point where they feel they cannot live without the things they are doing and they will continue and haunt you.

    I recently was told of physical abuse I was subjected to when I was a baby. My mother moved out of state to escape DHS. The abuse continued, and has continued. I am a mother now, with another on the way. I have continually tried to keep this woman out of my life, reminding you she did the exact same things you had done unto you. It has gotten to the point where she has made false claims against me and my boyfriend for child abuse and it has been a nightmare! And she won't stop, she has lied to DFS and the Police to try to get anything to keep my son away from me.

    I'm disgusted by people like this. Now she can face criminal charges, if I go for it and I will if it is what I have to do to protect my family and I. PLEASE for me, for someone who was subjected to this for my entire life until recently, PLEASE seek help.

    Don't be scared! Tell your story, that is what you need to do to feel alive again. If she scares you and gets worse, then call the police. Have it documented.... Trust me... Please I'm just begging you to get some help. I don't want to see someone go through what I have been through..
    i will be praying for you.

     
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