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This Isn't Abuse But I need Help and advice.

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Old 04-20-2011, 02:29 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Santa Ana, California U.S.A
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Socal13 HB User
Exclamation This Isn't Abuse But I need Help and advice.

So,I was kicked out of my house 4 weeks ago and was at a shelter, while I was at the shelter I met this girl who liked me and I liked her to. So we became couples. After we got out of the shelter like 2 weeks later we were still in contact over the phone because she lived 3 city's away, so i couldn't see her. Like 2 weeks into our relationship she starts telling me that she is having big family problems and is going to move to Oklahoma in a couple of months. So then the next day she tells me she isn't ready for a relationship.I was sad because I was really looking forward to a commitment, so I call her the next day and she doesn't want to talk to me. I email her and she doesn't reply. She said she felt sorry because she felt she let me down but I told her I understood and didn't want to pressure her into anything so I was cool about it even though I was sad. But I don't understand why she doesn't answer my phone calls or email me back, I haven't disrespected her. At least I think she should tell me "I don't want to talk to you and it was nice to know you", But she just left me on the spot without any notice. I dunno I need advice.Should I just forget about her or keep trying to see if she is O.K, If I try to forget about her It will be painful because we both were really attached. I would just want to know if she still wants me in her life or not. Thanks for your'e time on reading this, Any advise good or bad would be appreciated on, have a nice day or night.

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Old 04-25-2011, 01:25 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 5
ToxicFool HB User
Re: This Isn't Abuse But I need Help and advice.

Dear, I think you believe you were attached, it sounds like you both feel the need to get attached to something because you have both suffered from a life that has no attachments and this feeling of safety and assurance. Now honestly whatever you believe or feel or think is going to be something you need to change on your own because it is your world and is seen through your eyes, but from a third person's view, it appears that she might have been incredibly attached to you and cared about you, but it could be she needs sometime to assess her true intentions, if they are loving feelings for you or if they are just as a friend or if it was just because you were someone she could cling to in the shelter.

It might be really painful to forget about her, but also it could be that you don't need to forget about her but give her some time. I don't know how much time, but keep in contact with her or try to. If she changes her number or something, then you know that it was her trying to distance herself. But hang in there, I'm sure something will work out, whether its with her or you find someone else.

In my mind, she should have given you a more definitive understanding of how she wants to proceed, but if she isn't responding that could be she is just distancing herself to think and assess like I said previously.

Stay positive

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