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abusive boyfriend

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Old 09-15-2011, 03:38 AM   #1
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abusive boyfriend

I am having a hard time making a decision. While my boyfriend and I usually get along swimmingly, he has had a couple explosive anger episodes in which I actually felt all the physiological effects of fear. He called a bleeping word usually reserved for dogs, and another time a word reserved for a female body part. He is like a different person when this happens. Last time, he made a fist and when I said don't you do make a fist at me, he said he was doing it as an "errrr" of frustration. Either way, the change in him is what is really scary and he can't see the fact that I am not the CAUSE of his anger. Even if I did do something horrible, I do not make him rage. He can't see that until a day or so later when he's calmed down, and either apologizes or tries to pretend it didn't happen. Am I stupid to stay, do these usually turn into physical incidences?

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Old 09-17-2011, 04:18 AM   #2
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Re: abusive boyfriend

Hello Dig,

If he invokes fear in you,then by all means distance yourself from him.

Incidences that escalate in intensity can be a tell tale sign of danger ahead.

Never view yourself as stupid.

Know that if you stay with him,it's like playing with fire;the more you play with it,the greater the chance that you will feel the effects of its' heat.....

In a negative way.

When in doubt, post it out.

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Old 09-19-2011, 10:39 PM   #3
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Re: abusive boyfriend

ditto.....and, run like hell.

It's all a matter of perspective!
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Old 09-20-2011, 01:15 AM   #4
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Re: abusive boyfriend

Your not stupid, your full of hope and caring and the idea of what could be.

You need to separate yourself from this man, because as he goes along the abuse will get worse, it always does. As soon as they sense fear in you they know they can do whatever they want to you and you'll stay and take it.

I stayed with my abusive alcoholic husband for 26 yrs....when I finally got smart enough to leave. I was tired of trying to make, makeup cover black eyes and hand shaped bruises on my neck. I did convince my ex to stop drinking at one point, and assumed the abuse would stop...instead it got worse because now I was the person who had forced him to stop doing the one thing he loved, drinking beer.

It's not worth it to stay and wait for the next horrible thing to happen. Especially if your not married and have no children, you should leave, run out the door and never look back. That's about the only way you can solve this type of problem.

I'm sorry for the pain and stress and anguish you are going through, but I guarantee that you are a strong enough person to make it out on your own.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,


Old 09-20-2011, 02:24 AM   #5
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Re: abusive boyfriend

Hi digmusic, both Phoenix and Quincy is right. Showing anger like that and not realizing it until one or two days later is scary. Is he on drugs? Steriods? If this is how he is at times, he needs help. But you should break off the relationship. It is not good.

Old 12-05-2011, 09:53 PM   #6
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Re: abusive boyfriend

Dig, Get away from him while you can. I'm married to an angry man with fits of anger and have a hard time getting him out of my life. It's not a normal relationship or rather he's not the one for you. Take care. Sara
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fentanyl, Cymbalta, C-spine-C6-C7 nerve impinging. L4-5 disc bulge with bone spur prominent facets

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