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  • Can someone help with or relate to my dad being perverted?

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    Old 06-03-2013, 09:53 PM   #1
    irene5464
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    Can someone help with or relate to my dad being perverted?

    I first started noticing when I was 12 ( I am now a teen) that he would always look at young women, even teenagers. I tried to pretend that he was just looking for writing inspiration/how to describe women since he's a writer but later he started looking at me too. He has never mentioned or acknowledged it but I think he knows that I know. Once we were at the mall and he was staring at these women and they called him a pervert and I don't think he knows that I heard. He's looked at my chest too when I was wearing a bathing suit and he kept trying to hug me and put his arm around me. My mom sometimes touches my boobs too but I read that someone else's parents do that because they can't really believe that their child has grown up (that's what my mom keeps saying). I am very very close to my mom though and that is the sort of thing I am okay with since we are so close... But it's just so overwhelming and I feel sick and I really hate myself. I have developed trichotillomania (hair pulling) and sometimes when it gets to be too much I scratch and hit myself (not to the point of bleeding or even bruising) but the pain helps me. I have also been interested in sex at a young age and briefly had bulimia but I stopped. I'm afraid that I'm becoming really screwed up. My dad tries to hug me or rub my back even though he noticed that I hate it. He has never done anything inappropriate physically and I can't tell anyone. I don't want people to say that I need to tell someone, I just want someone to tell me that they have been through something similar or that I am not alone.

    Last edited by mod85; 06-04-2013 at 10:44 AM.

     
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    Phoenix (07-04-2013)
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    Old 07-04-2013, 06:20 AM   #2
    Phoenix
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    Re: Can someone help with or relate to my dad being perverted?

    Hello irene5464 and welcome.

    This appears to be a boundary issue which is beginning to manifest itself in your coping mechanisms.

    Have you considered speaking to a school counselor or qualified therapist?

    Unresolved issues,if left alone,will fester into something that continuously grows(often hiding and/or disguising itself in plain sight).

    If you need to vent or just require more elaboration,know that we're here;if and/or when you need us.

    Take Care and God Bless....God Bless Us All.

    Respectfully
    Phoenix
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    Old 07-04-2013, 06:59 AM   #3
    Seraph
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    Re: Can someone help with or relate to my dad being perverted?

    I had a father like this too. I have five sisters and he would always make inappropriate comments on our breasts etc. He actually molested two of them, touching them. (Found this out later). It was really hard, because if we protested, we just heard "oh, don't be so petty", or "I was only kidding". Please do not allow his behaviour to affect you to the point of self harm. It will not change anything. Phoenix is right about counselling, not so much to "tell" someone, but to learn how to deal with your hurt and anger in ways that will be healthier. Best wishes, and keep writing here. Sera

     
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