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  • was i abused as a child and repressed the memory?

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    Old 07-09-2013, 07:00 AM   #1
    jadevella
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    was i abused as a child and repressed the memory?

    Hi, Im 21 years old and lately I have had the feeling something bad happened to me as a child. I have suffered from depression for a while, and have recently been diagnosed with a panic disorder/anxiey.

    This is gonna sound strange, and I havnt talked to anyone about this, ever.

    As a child, im not sure what age but still young i think as i can picture the toys i had (early primary school yerars i think), I remember I would take my clothes off and use one of my toys to tie myself to what i think was a babygate that was on my bedroom door. I remember tying myself too tight and had to be released by mum or dad, cant remember which. On other occaisions, there was a small gap at the end of my bed and i used to again take off my clothes, lie down in this small gap, and put blankets and heavy toys on top of me so it felt like i was trapped, and i remember liking the feeling. I also had this toy cutlery set, and i used to prop the knives and forks (plastic) under my top and pull the top tight so it would hurt more. I remember liking that feeling too...

    This is all very strange, as there are other things too...such as obsession with nude pictures (eg in the paper) and anything dirty.

    As as adult I love being dominated and humilated during sex, was i abused?

     
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